Words

There are words that can change the direction of our life. Actually, not only our life, but the life of those around us, those who care for us and those whom we care for. For that reason alone, we should choose our words carefully


With my children, I choose my words with care...and calm. It's in me to speak first, to act first...sometimes to yell first, but it's never a good choice for me and can actually scar their memories of me. I want so badly to set a good example to my children. Sometimes being human we fail, but I believe when we put effort into it, we'll succeed much more than we will fail.

It's amazing how much our words can have an effect on strangers. I've had patients I've spoken to on the phone come in and ask to meet me because I'd made them laugh at a time they'd needed it. I've had patients bring me gifts because I'd touched them with words. We never know how what we're saying or the way in which we're saying it will impact someone, but we should be aware that words are powerful.

Friends forgive words that we use in haste. Good friends anyway. They not only forgive, but understand because they love us...because they care about us, and because some of them choose to be permanent fixtures rather than simply passing through our life. I enjoy my words with my good friends because they know me well and enjoy, even share, my sarcasm and attitude, so I'm free to be myself and freely use both.

There are those that come and go in our life, sadly, and we can usually tell who these people will be because we catch ourselves weighing our words before we speak them. Not wanting to offend, not wanting to scare off by our true personality when we let our guard down...actually always a little afraid to let our guard down, we will constantly be aware of what we're saying but it's important to be honest in what we say and that we express our true feelings. I believe life is too short to constantly be on guard. I'll meet people and sometimes wonder what they're really like when they're 'themselves'. You can usually tell when someone isn't letting you see them as they really are, or as they really want to be. Sometimes it's a challenge though, or I find it to be so, to encourage those people to enjoy who they are and to care less of what others may think of them. It's sometimes hard to trust someone who never speaks their mind.

Then, there is also the type of person who simply lies, or avoids the truth. Though I've been this person before, and make no mistake, I made a sport out it before becoming a Christian some 26 years ago and I can understand how easy it is to let words mean so little to you, I will no longer allow it in my life, or those who do. This is a hard lesson to learn and even harder standard to live by. Because we humans are an emotional creature, we take some words to heart, count on them...and trust them. But you learn in life who will take the high road, and who will not. I'm not afraid of heights.

Just a thinkin'

I wonder, sometimes...not all the time, but sometimes, what it is that makes us tick. As for me, and as it's been pointed out lately, I consider it to all be about me (no Katy, this isn't about you or the shirt you sent me), but I do wonder, sometimes, why we each choose as we do.

Some choose the easy roads in life. Regardless of what the day brings, they take the easiest way possible. Does that ever work out? Don't know, NEVER TRIED IT. I know several who have, though, and they honestly seem to be happy with whatever life brings them.

Some choose the hardest road possible. Their life is constantly full of turmoil and they never seem to do anything but complain. I know several of these people, also. Many times I'll want to say "why didn't you just..." but I've learned by now that it would have been an easier route and less for them to complain about, so I just let it go.

Then, there are some who actually try to use logic. What would happen if...what would have the best chance of working out if... I probably fit best in this category. Sadly. I'm a thinker, though some would beg to differ.

Lately, though, I'm pondering the choices we make and why. Is it easier to take the easiest way possible and be concerned with tomorrow should it ever show up? Is it best to make it as hard as possible for ourselves and spend all of our time worrying over things we have no control over. Or, is it best to 'ponder'...consider our options, and try to plan not only for the worst, but for the best that could happen?

Not really a serious post...just a wondering...because that's what I do. When I'm not all consumed with myself, of course.

Welcome Home

My ex mom-in-law passed away in her sleep very early Monday morning. I know the last time I wrote about my mom-in-law, the boys and I had had our feelings hurt when we'd asked to visit and she told us no. I'll admit it hurt our feelings, and that I have hoped for the past 3 years that she'd call. Regardless, I loved my mom-in-law. For the 22 years leading up to this, she'd been one of my closest friends.

When Mark and I met, I'd been bartending and going to a local bible college. Mark's parents were both Christians, coming from a strong baptist background. The first time Mark told them about me, he described me as five years older than himself with some gray hair and a bartender. This was a joke through the years of what they were expecting, but they put their arms around me and welcomed me into their family the first time I met them.

Mark's mom always reminded me a little bit of Scarlett O'Hara. She was a 'southern lady'. Never saw her when she didn't look put together. Her clothes were always perfect, her nails were perfect, her make-up perfect and her hair, seriously, her hair was always perfect. Her voice was always soft, and it should go without saying that her manners, well, a southern lady through and through.

I'd asked my mom-in-law to accompany me on a cruise a few years ago. Seven days sharing a room with the bathroom the size of a hall closet and we did nothing but laugh. It was one of the best times I've ever had. We made friends with people from both our age groups, we took wine tasting classes, we drank and we gambled. I think I may have enjoyed it more than the cruises I took with my husband and kids. My mom-in-law could have a good time.

I'm not one to mourn death because I know without a doubt where one passes over to, and it's nothing to mourn but something to rejoice. My mom-in-law believed as I did, we discussed it many times, the joy of being in the presence of God. I rejoice knowing that she is with our Lord, reunited with her loved ones who'd passed before her and look forward to being with her again. However, I know the void her children will feel with her absence here and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm also sorry that the boys and I never got to hear her laugh, feel her arms around us or tell her that we loved her again. I will continue, as I have these past three years, to miss her. But, I know that she is full of joy, probably dancing and praising along side the angels and, as we all long to be, she is home.

Dreams To Remember

I love how life is constantly teaching us lessons. Oh, we're a stubborn lot, but given enough time, we learn. Maybe it's because some of us are dreamers that it's so hard for us to learn, or to see something that's so obvious to everyone else. Dreamers; but who doesn't love to dream? Who doesn't try to believe...hope, dream for what our heart wants, regardless of how obvious life's truth may be.

I dream. I hope. I believe in what my heart keeps holding out for. It's my choice to wait for what I believe in, what I dream of, what I hope for. No one knows what I feel inside. No one knows but me. I have come to realize, however, that lessons of the heart are the hardest to learn. I can't count the times people have told me to let my guard down, take a chance...lower my defenses. There are reasons it's so hard for me. Good reasons.

So many good men have wasted their time on me. Though I've never lied to them, never encouraged them with hopes for more than I'm able to give them, I do sometimes wish I were able to feel more for them than what has came natural to me. I know that I'm capable of it. I know what it is that I want to feel...how I want someone to make me feel when they look at me, touch me, how I want to be moved by the simple sound of their voice.

I recently attended the wedding of a couple a little older than myself. The second marriage for the bride, the third for the groom and, as they declared in their vows, the last for each of them. I'd never met them before, I was a guest...a 'plus one' of a friend, but the bride and I talked at the reception. She told me that my friend was very fond of me; I smiled and assured her that friends were all we were. She told me "I know what you mean. I kissed a lot of frogs waiting for my prince to show up".

That's what I'm doing, I'm waiting for my prince to show up. I'm a dreamer, and I don't mind dreaming. Actually, I enjoy a good dream. But, sometimes, dreams are all that some of them are...just dreams. And that's a painful lesson. But, while I wait, I do have a few good dreams to remember.

What If

All children dream. The youngest child will live within an imagination that we are not able to begin to imagine as adults. What did we dream about? What were our imaginings when we were young? The mind of a child is so full of dreams, nothing is impossible. Nothing. To the innocent, the world awaits their laugh and each moment is another opportunity to smile.

When do we begin to lose that? When do we first hear words that diminish those imaginings, that bring doubt to those beliefs that all is possible? What if we were never told that things were impossible to us? What if we were always encouraged to seek after those imaginings, regardless of the magnitude of the dream? What if the world were shaped by our reality instead of our being shaped by it's reality. What an amazing world is possible if we listen to our hearts instead of the man on the radio, the woman on the television or to anyone but the Voice within our spirit.

I reflect on the dreams I've had, on the expectations I've had of myself; not only from when I was younger, but the dreams I still have late at night when my mind is quiet and the world isn't allowed in. The dreams that my heart still nourishes with hope.

Far from childhood, far from innocent, I still find my hiding place in hope and I continue to dream. Let the reality of this world hit me with it's best shot. I will continue to laugh and I will continue to smile. Not because I hide from reality, but because I choose my reality.

If ever...

I may have a hard time settling down, maybe I'm just hard to please, I don't know. I've actually had someone tell me that lately, but regardless, should I ever have someone touch my heart like this man does when he sings, I'm theirs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzul5rxd-i8

Funnies

My good friend, Tom, posted these a long time ago on my blog. Recently came across them again, still made me laugh. Hope they make you laugh too.

1. How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you.
2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
4. How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
5. How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't, there's a clock on the oven!
6. Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna to want to shoot it.
7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
8. All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
9. I know it's missing...
10. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman that won't do what she's told.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?Divorced.
14. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
15. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%:Wedding cake.
16. Marriage is a 3 ring circus:Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
17. The last fight was my fault! My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
18. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and rested.Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
19. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
20. Why do men die before their wives?They want to.
21. What is the difference between a dog and a fox?5 drinks!!!
22. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "My God, I wish I had your willpower."
23. Do you know the punishment for bigamy??Two mothers-in-law.
24. Young Son: "Dad is it true, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't KNOW his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
25. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing, "You can have mine."
26. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
27. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
28. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.