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My ex mom-in-law passed away in her sleep very early Monday morning. I know the last time I wrote about my mom-in-law, the boys and I had had our feelings hurt when we'd asked to visit and she told us no. I'll admit it hurt our feelings, and that I have hoped for the past 3 years that she'd call. Regardless, I loved my mom-in-law. For the 22 years leading up to this, she'd been one of my closest friends.
When Mark and I met, I'd been bartending and going to a local bible college. Mark's parents were both Christians, coming from a strong baptist background. The first time Mark told them about me, he described me as five years older than himself with some gray hair and a bartender. This was a joke through the years of what they were expecting, but they put their arms around me and welcomed me into their family the first time I met them.
Mark's mom always reminded me a little bit of Scarlett O'Hara. She was a 'southern lady'. Never saw her when she didn't look put together. Her clothes were always perfect, her nails were perfect, her make-up perfect and her hair, seriously, her hair was always perfect. Her voice was always soft, and it should go without saying that her manners, well, a southern lady through and through.
I'd asked my mom-in-law to accompany me on a cruise a few years ago. Seven days sharing a room with the bathroom the size of a hall closet and we did nothing but laugh. It was one of the best times I've ever had. We made friends with people from both our age groups, we took wine tasting classes, we drank and we gambled. I think I may have enjoyed it more than the cruises I took with my husband and kids. My mom-in-law could have a good time.
I'm not one to mourn death because I know without a doubt where one passes over to, and it's nothing to mourn but something to rejoice. My mom-in-law believed as I did, we discussed it many times, the joy of being in the presence of God. I rejoice knowing that she is with our Lord, reunited with her loved ones who'd passed before her and look forward to being with her again. However, I know the void her children will feel with her absence here and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm also sorry that the boys and I never got to hear her laugh, feel her arms around us or tell her that we loved her again. I will continue, as I have these past three years, to miss her. But, I know that she is full of joy, probably dancing and praising along side the angels and, as we all long to be, she is home.
When Mark and I met, I'd been bartending and going to a local bible college. Mark's parents were both Christians, coming from a strong baptist background. The first time Mark told them about me, he described me as five years older than himself with some gray hair and a bartender. This was a joke through the years of what they were expecting, but they put their arms around me and welcomed me into their family the first time I met them.
Mark's mom always reminded me a little bit of Scarlett O'Hara. She was a 'southern lady'. Never saw her when she didn't look put together. Her clothes were always perfect, her nails were perfect, her make-up perfect and her hair, seriously, her hair was always perfect. Her voice was always soft, and it should go without saying that her manners, well, a southern lady through and through.
I'd asked my mom-in-law to accompany me on a cruise a few years ago. Seven days sharing a room with the bathroom the size of a hall closet and we did nothing but laugh. It was one of the best times I've ever had. We made friends with people from both our age groups, we took wine tasting classes, we drank and we gambled. I think I may have enjoyed it more than the cruises I took with my husband and kids. My mom-in-law could have a good time.
I'm not one to mourn death because I know without a doubt where one passes over to, and it's nothing to mourn but something to rejoice. My mom-in-law believed as I did, we discussed it many times, the joy of being in the presence of God. I rejoice knowing that she is with our Lord, reunited with her loved ones who'd passed before her and look forward to being with her again. However, I know the void her children will feel with her absence here and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm also sorry that the boys and I never got to hear her laugh, feel her arms around us or tell her that we loved her again. I will continue, as I have these past three years, to miss her. But, I know that she is full of joy, probably dancing and praising along side the angels and, as we all long to be, she is home.
posted by kathi | 2:46 PM
11 Comments:
Wow! You are one forgiving gal! I continue to aspire to look at life through the same glasses you do. You are so cool!
So sorry to hear that, but I admire your attitude. I share your thoughts on that, and death isn't one of my fears, for reasons like your own. I miss the discussions over at Seven's blog, don't you? Take care.
shannon ~ you're too kind and I'd actually like to see myself through YOUR glasses sometime. I read abut your family and your kids. You, my friend, rock!
lynilu ~ thank you and YES, I do miss him, very much!
You really see the best in people and that is what you remember in them. Takes a special person to do that.
Missing a person in their physical form is only natural but difficult too regardless of where we know they are now. We'll all meet there someday but while we get there it is difficult to miss them
That's a very nice post. I'm sorry for the loss...Both that she passed, and that you missed her friendship these past couple of years.
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. I definitely want to do one again sometime! So much fun!
My word verification is "bardrool". Heh.
You are an amazing woman Kathi. (((hug))) I'm sorry to hear about your families lose.
jbt ~ you've experienced a loss in your own family lately, and I'm sorry for the pain y'all are going through.
3 c's ~ I'd always held out hope that she'd want to see me again. Now, I know she will.
And yeah, I do love to cruise. :)
gerben ~ you're too sweet, hon; thank you.
You have such a good outlook on life and death Kathi... it's very refreshing to read. And your heart is so full of forgiveness and Gods love... what a beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing some memories with us and even though Mark isn't a friend, I still hurt for his loss. A mother is a terrible person to lose.
Like everyone else before me I am in awe of your attitude in this situation. I'm sad that she didn't get to enjoy you and your boys the last remaining years of her life...that is a true loss. Hugs to your family from the Tapps.
lovelladro ~ you and I both know how hard of a loss it is. Thanks for your kind words, Sweetie. Love you.
michelle ~ it saddens me too, she missed out on some of the best years of a couple of great young men. Hugs back at'cha...and you know I've got lot's of love for you and yours.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
You have a great attitude and remind us that it's best for us to remember the best in others.
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