Dreams To Remember
I dream. I hope. I believe in what my heart keeps holding out for. It's my choice to wait for what I believe in, what I dream of, what I hope for. No one knows what I feel inside. No one knows but me. I have come to realize, however, that lessons of the heart are the hardest to learn. I can't count the times people have told me to let my guard down, take a chance...lower my defenses. There are reasons it's so hard for me. Good reasons.
So many good men have wasted their time on me. Though I've never lied to them, never encouraged them with hopes for more than I'm able to give them, I do sometimes wish I were able to feel more for them than what has came natural to me. I know that I'm capable of it. I know what it is that I want to feel...how I want someone to make me feel when they look at me, touch me, how I want to be moved by the simple sound of their voice.
I recently attended the wedding of a couple a little older than myself. The second marriage for the bride, the third for the groom and, as they declared in their vows, the last for each of them. I'd never met them before, I was a guest...a 'plus one' of a friend, but the bride and I talked at the reception. She told me that my friend was very fond of me; I smiled and assured her that friends were all we were. She told me "I know what you mean. I kissed a lot of frogs waiting for my prince to show up".
That's what I'm doing, I'm waiting for my prince to show up. I'm a dreamer, and I don't mind dreaming. Actually, I enjoy a good dream. But, sometimes, dreams are all that some of them are...just dreams. And that's a painful lesson. But, while I wait, I do have a few good dreams to remember.