Regrets

I heard him sigh as he walked away,
his hands balled into fists.
I knew that it would be the last time I'd see him,
but I couldn't say a word to stop him.

I had loved him completely.
I'd loved him with all that was in me.
For the first time in my life
I'd let all my defenses fall...or so I had thought.

Because on that day when he asked,
on that day that he promised,
I said no
and I watched him walk away.

His sigh echoed my heartbreaking.
His clenched fists mirrored my distress.
But I couldn't say a word to stop him.
My fear had set him free.

I'm calling about your ad...

I've been looking at cars for Charlie all week. With what I have to spend, the choices are limited. What I've spent the last week learning the most is how dishonest some people can be. I know people are just trying to make money, and believe me, I understand the need to make money, but to be so dishonest...hard to make excuses for them.

One thing I've learned that helps weed out some of the dishonest people is to tell them up front that I'll be taking it to a mechanic before I buy it. When they hesitate to agree to that stipulation, I know it's time to say goodbye.

Pray that we would have favor as our search continues.

Excuse Me?

I'm sorry, New York Post, we can't hear you when you whisper.

Offensive

Shame on you, New York Post, for fanning the fire of racism in our country. Free speech or not, shame on you.

In One Word

Got this from my friend, M. Wouldn't think of leaving her hangin'. :)

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? Where?
3. Your hair? Stubborn
4. Your mother? Sad
5. Your father? Racist
6. Your favorite? Kids
7. Your dream last night? Forget
8. Your favorite drink? Water
9. Your dream/goal? Stability
10. What room you are in? Office
11. Your hobby? Photography
12. Your fear? Refuse
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Heaven
14. Where were you last night? Home
15. Something that you aren't? Liar
16. Muffin? Corn
17. Wish list item? Savings
18. Where you grew up? Mayberry
19. Last thing you did? Phone
20. What are you wearing? Scrubs
21. Your TV? Record
22. Your pets? Excessive
23. Friends? Few
24. Your life? Blessed
25. Your mood? Hopeful
26. Missing someone? Casey
27. Car? Own
28. Something you're not wearing? Rings
29. Your favorite store? Antiques
30. Your favorite color? None
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? Yesterday
35. Who will resend this? Clueless
36. One place that I go to over and over? Home

The Voice (part 2)

Again, I published a post without meaning to. I hadn't even realized I'd posted the last one till a friend emailed her experience with the Voice. Maybe someone needed it at that time, God's got His own timing and it's always perfect. Mine...not so much.

There was a vision that came with His words to me that day last week. It was one of driving into a fog knowing what was on the other side of it; even though I couldn't see it I knew what was there. I wasn't afraid because I knew that I knew that I knew what was on the other side of the fog. That's the way trials are in our life. He encourages us to not lose our faith when we're faced with adversity, when Satan puts a smokescreen between us and the blessings that God has for us, because even if we can not see them...no matter how long it's been that we've not been able to see them, they are still there. If I chose not to drive into the fog out of fear, even though I knew what was on the other side, I'd never get there. God isn't going to pick my car up (I'm talking metaphors here) and put me down on the other side. I've got to drive through it in faith.

What's on the other side of the fog? The smokescreen? Those trials and tribulations? I don't know. I don't need to. He knows. Could be the answer to all my financial woes, could be the man of my dreams, could be heaven waiting on me. I don't know and it doesn't matter because it's God's plan for me and I trust Him.

So...I'm in a bit of fog. So...the devil has put up a smokescreen to camouflage the blessings God has for me. Okay. What God has for me, be it blessings here or a trip home to heaven, it's still there regardless of whether I can see it or not. How arrogant of me to assume that because my eyes can't see it, that it would mean it's not there. Daily I renew my trust in the Lord, with all of my heart, and refuse to lean on my own understanding, because sometimes I honestly don't have a clue. But He does. So, I'm keepin' on. Trusting...because He spoke to me. Again.

The Voice (thanks, M.)

I've often written about God talking to me. Sometimes after quiet meditation or prayer I'll get bits of 'wisdom' or sometimes I've even felt like I've been lovingly scolded...and then sometimes it's like today.
I was in the lunch room by myself, and as I bowed my head to bless my food He said "look through the smokescreen, what I have for you is there regardless of what you see with your natural eyes". What?? I wasn't thinking about anything but blessing my food. I love it when He does this. The first time I heard God's voice was that first time I'd ever entered a church in 1983, I believe it was 1983. As I stood in the back of the church I felt someone physically tap my shoulder and say "throw the drugs down the toilet when you get home, you don't need them anymore". There was no one behind me. I did what I was told and for the first time in 13 years, I overcame my addiction to speed. So, I know that voice and I've learned to listen to it.