Minimalist Meme

Got this from Leesa
*after I did this, and went back to Leesa's page to copy and paste her addy...I read the directions. It's suppose to be ONE word answers. Hmmmm, I'll redo my answers, God forbid I should stray from the rules.

1. Where is your cell phone? Which one? One is on the table, the other in the car.
2. Your hair? Easy
3. Your mother? Sad
4. Your father? Selfish
5. Your favorite food? Mexican
6. Your dream last night? Can't remember
7. Your favorite drink? Water...I know, boring.
8. Your dream/goal? To make a difference...again, I know...
9. What room are you in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Writing
11. Your fear? None
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Content
13. Where were you last night? Time? Be specific.
14. Something that you aren't? Confident
15. Muffins? I'd pass on a muffin.
16. Wish list item? It's personal
17. Where did you grow up? Indiana
18. Last thing you did? Text
19. What are you wearing? An oversized tee
20. Your TV? Off
21. Your pets? Sleeping
22. Friends? Forgiving
23. Your life? Full
24. Your mood? Content (I can use it twice)
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Vehicle? 32 mpg CITY...yeah baby. Love my Kia.
27. Something you're not wearing? Anything but a tee
28. Your favorite store? Macy's
29. Your favorite color? Red...or black
30. When was the last time you laughed? A few minutes ago.
31. Last time you cried? Three months ago
32. Your best friend? Katy
33. One place that I go to over and over? Work
34. One person who emails me regularly? Jason
35. Favorite place to eat? Chuy's

Yeah, I stray... :)

Goes to show that you never really know...

I've only left the United States by way of ship, so I've never had need for a passport. I've had to show my birth certificate; which, by the way, I have the original one my parents received from the hospital. Now, however, I have need for a passport.

I filled out the forms I'd downloaded from on-line, and along with my birth certificate I attempted to apply for a passport on my lunch hour. As it so happens, my original birth certificate isn't enough, it has to be a certified copy from the state. No problem, I can call Indiana and have them send it to me.

Indiana isn't so easy to get a hold of, as it turns out. But I'm persistent, and after holding and being transferred from one recording to another, I'm directed to an on-line site. With a small fee, my certified copy is on it's way.

Within a week I receive my certified copy. I open it before putting it in my bag and notice that my last name is spelled incorrectly. Okay, so...it didn't really take that long to get it from Indiana, no problem...right? I'll just call them the next day and have them correct it.

I'm so silly.

As I get the paper work out the next day before I call, I also notice that not only did they misspell my last name, but they misspelled the last name of my parents...and they've misspelled it differently from the way they misspelled my last name. I go through the same maze of automated extensions (does anyone remember when you could actually call a company and a real person answered the phone?) and reach a woman who, very probably, has the flu. I felt so sorry for this woman that I wanted to pay for her doctor visit. I regress. I told her of how the last name had been misspelled in two places and in two different ways. She said that, yes, she did see the problem, that the last name had been misspelled on the line of my parents. I said, yes, that was true, but it was also misspelled on the line with my name. She very hoarsely asked me to hold...I held for awhile. But hey, she was probably in the bathroom or getting a box of tissues. I sounded like her a few weeks ago, so I'm giving this sweet thing the benefit of all doubts. She comes back on the line and tells me that no, my last name had been spelled correctly.

Huh?

She said that the way it's spelled on the certified copy they sent to me is how the state of Indiana has it filed, that I'm the one spelling it incorrectly. I am 100% serious. Who knew? I told her "Hon, I'm looking at my original birth certificate and it's spelled correctly on it. I do believe if I'd been spelling my last name incorrectly for the last 54 years, one of my parents would have corrected me." She asked me to hold. I brought solitaire up on my computer at work and had nearly finished the game before she came back. She asked me for my dad's date of birth. Does anyone know their dad's date of birth, including the year? I mean, I was pretty sure of the date, but the year? I told her to hold on while I researched it on-line. So, she and I chit chatted while I pulled up a copy of my dads obituary on-line and read her his date of birth. Again, I hold. When she returned, she told me that it appeared the doctor that delivered me misspelled my last name when he filled out my birth certificate for the state. I don't know how that is possible, when I'm holding my original birth certificate, which, I might add, is in incredibly excellent condition, and it's spelled correctly on it. Regardless, now the state is sending me forms to fill out and have notarized that my father is my father. When they receive those forms, they can correct my parent's last name, which in turn will correct my name. In all honesty, I'm not convinced, but we'll wait and see.

My trip out of the country will have to happen a little later than planned. But, what I find odd is that my social security card that I got as a teenager had my name spelled correctly and the IRS never had any trouble with my name...how funny it's not been caught until now. I suppose, since I'm changing my last name back to this maiden name soon, it would have been discovered sooner or later. But how funny that I'm just now finding out that, according to the great state of Indiana, I've been spelling my last name wrong all my life. You'd think that's one thing I could have been sure of.

Fallen

Lately I have a hard time turning my mind off. I can take meds to make me sleep, and sleep will come, but there are those times when you want to sit back, watch the world around you and let peace consume you. Lately, peace doesn't come easily to me.

I'm not going through any hard times. Actually, praise God, this is probably one of the most 'comfortable' times of my life. Finances are not an issue, I love my job, my boys make me proud of them daily and I'm blessed with good people who care about me. I'm faced with the daily obstacles that each of us are, and I try to stay focused on the future because the past has been laid to rest...only, I haven't actually laid my past to rest. There are things that my mind refuses to let go of.

We're all guilty of things we'll not share, and I'm no different...as in I'll not share this particular guilt I'm carrying. This morning as I stood in praise at church I felt overwhelmed and I quit singing, I lowered my hands and my head and I began to cry. This isn't anything new, I never feel closer to Him than I do during praise, whether it be public or private. But this morning, I guess it's because of the guilt I've been carrying (though I've long since confessed it to Him, have asked for His forgiveness and have no doubt that I've received it) I just needed time with Him. In the midst of hundreds around me, there was only He and I. As I felt the tears free themselves from my eyes, I told Him that I keep falling short of Him. I'm so, so very sorry, but no matter how devoted I am to the journey to follow Him, I sometimes feel like I keep falling short. As if the hundreds were no longer there, I felt alone with Him. As if there was an echo in my being I heard Him say 'It's okay, I'll come to you, I'll always meet you where you are' and in my mind I pictured me fallen, on my knees, and Him racing to me. Yes, I made a mistake, but I'm the one that is having a hard time letting it go, not Him.

Sometimes I'm reminded of Paul's thorn in the flesh (II Cor. 12:7-10), and I wonder if maybe I'm just unable to let it go, regardless of the sorrow and guilt I feel. I know that my soul belongs to Him, and I have no doubt that He loves me. Yet, I feel as if I'm missing something...like I'm not quite whole, and I find it hard to rest. My heart feels torn; like a puzzle missing a piece, it feels incomplete.

I'm grateful for His patience and His healing. I'm in need of both.