I WANT A PARTY!
Today I stood alone in front of a judge and felt the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders as he slammed his gavel down and declared 'divorce granted'. I am divorced.
It has taken 15 months since Mark walked out to get here. I didn't drag my feet because within hours of Charlie telling me his dad had 'left' (while I was out of the house for a few minutes running an errand), I had the locks changed and everything that had ever belonged to Mark in bags in the garage. I had an attorney within a week (obviously not a good one because it has taken 15 months to get here, but I'll share that story soon) and filed for divorce as quickly as possible. I angered Mark's family for acting so quickly, even my attorney asked if I was sure I didn't want to wait to see if Mark was simply going through a mid life crisis. My gut feeling was that I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd be afraid to even run to the store, afraid he'd be gone when I got back. So no, there was never any doubt from the moment Charlie told me through his tears that his dad had left us, that I wanted to move on alone...single. Took me 15 months to get here, but I'm here. And I'm happy. I'm sooo happy. It continues to be hard financially, but emotionally and spiritually, I'm better than ever.
I'm divorced.
I want a party.
:)
It has taken 15 months since Mark walked out to get here. I didn't drag my feet because within hours of Charlie telling me his dad had 'left' (while I was out of the house for a few minutes running an errand), I had the locks changed and everything that had ever belonged to Mark in bags in the garage. I had an attorney within a week (obviously not a good one because it has taken 15 months to get here, but I'll share that story soon) and filed for divorce as quickly as possible. I angered Mark's family for acting so quickly, even my attorney asked if I was sure I didn't want to wait to see if Mark was simply going through a mid life crisis. My gut feeling was that I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd be afraid to even run to the store, afraid he'd be gone when I got back. So no, there was never any doubt from the moment Charlie told me through his tears that his dad had left us, that I wanted to move on alone...single. Took me 15 months to get here, but I'm here. And I'm happy. I'm sooo happy. It continues to be hard financially, but emotionally and spiritually, I'm better than ever.
I'm divorced.
I want a party.
:)
posted by kathi | 2:32 PM
26 Comments:
If it felt right, you did the right thing! While "congratulations" doesn't seem quite right, I can't think of another word that seems more appropriate.
Your strength amazes me, and I believe wholeheartedly there are fabulous things on the horizon for you.
I'm glad that it is finally over and you can completely (and legally) call yourself a single woman. If you ever need anything you know I'm only a phone call away.
...and by the way I'll be on the look out for my invitation :)
Love ya!
nancy ~ if you never trust me again, trust me on this, congratulations IS the right and appropriate word.
Thank you for your kind words. I simply adore you and have so much respect for you. Thank you.
nikki ~ single, single, single !! Lol, I don't care at all about being single, but I'm thrilled to be divorced. :) I think all my friends should get together and each one buy me a margarita for my party. Consider yourself invited, friend. ;)
I know how you feel. When I went through this with my ex, I went out that night to celebrate. I just did the math, and the process was 15 months for me, too. Crazy. At the beginning of the 15 months, I never would have thought I'd feel that way. 15 months is a good amount of time to find closure and perspective and get your emotions in check. Congratulations. :)
3 c's ~ yup, as Martha said 'it's a good thing'. :) :) :)
Congratulations! (I'm here via 3carnations.) Party on!
WoooHooo! After a few years on Earth and much observation I have become convinced the current arrangement where the State is made a party to marriage is in failure. I understand the State is often necessary to protect the children....still what if the State butted out of everyone's love business all together? Maybe a set of laws that protect children yet do not entangle themselves as a third party interest in affairs of the heart?
Fifteen months to be granted a release from the 'third party State of Texas' is actually about average if you examine court records. Ridiculous.
However that is not the spirit of your post I realize. Congrats to you! Big Hugs!
I was just waiting patiently so I could be the 7th comment.
A free agent waiting to prowl on unsuspecting Texas millionaires, that's my girl. Divorce is like having terminal cancer. It hurts to get the news at first, but by the end you know it's time to move on. Mine took 6 months and I did it myself, whoohoo...I win. Glad to hear from you.
*chanting* Party! Party! Party!
Now then, what shall I bring? Party hats? Streamers? Naked men and booze?
I'm happy for you hunny...it's been a long time coming and now you can finally get on with your life, sans Mark.
Be happy my dear, you deserve it.
Loving you,
Lisa
It's so easy to forgive and forget, however, the trust issue goes right down the drain.
I'll hold you a party sweetie. I hope you're ok!
You're in my prayers today.
Hi Kathi - I'm here via 3carnations. I went through this about 3 years ago. If it makes you feel any better, I worked for a family law firm, my boss represented me, my ex and I had no possessions to speak of to fight over, no children to sort out custody of and it still took almost a year.
Congratulations on your freedom! I have become happier, stronger, and more independent by the day since my divorce.
I look forward to reading back through your archives to "catch up" on your story.
I am so happy for you girl. Wow, I just stopped to think about it. It it took about 15 months for my Big D as well. Hmmm, I guess I just never really gave it much thought. Oh well.
((hug)) Now remember, if there is a big party, I want pics. Lots and lots of pics of the booze and naked guys! *grin*
oh how i wish i could party with you. i am praying for you. much love.
Congratulations! Once it is begun, it never ends soon enough, does it? Be happy & live long, as both will be your bit of saying "Nah-nah-nah-nah!"
I'm here is your neighborhood till Monday morning. As promised, I'm hollerin' HEY!!!
lizgwiz ~ thank you, and nice to see you stop by!
seven ~ after what I've been through, I would NEVER recommend that a man and a woman be left to separation of property and such on their own...ever. If I hadn't had the 'state' on my side, the boys and I would be living in a box in your driveway. The court system is a great motivator in our country. With that said, thanks on the congrats and big hugs right back at'cha!
seven ~ goof. I know you don't 'wait' patiently. :)
tom ~ always a competition with you. Oh, and do you have any of those Texas millionaires phone numbers??
lisa ~ darlin', if you wanna give me booze and naked men, does that mean I need the booze to enjoy the naked men? What kind of naked men do you have in mind?? ;) LOL, LOVE YOU RIGHT BACK!!
deb ~ yeah, forgiveness is freely given, trust is earned. Looking forward to that party sweetie!!
sauntering soul ~ welcome, thanks so much for stopping by. I can relate, I've grown a lot since my ex (LOVE THAT WORD!! Couldn't use it till now!) left.
kidd ~ pictures, babe I'd want you here. You're only a state away. What is it with booze and naked men? Booze keeps me from remembering and as long as it's been, I WANT to remember every single detail of naked men! :)
lovelladro ~ you can't leave Chase to chase around naked men...what are you thinkin'?? LOL, thanks for the prayers hon, I stand in agreement with you.
lynilu ~ lol. I'll be livin' long and happy for me...and me alone. Some people don't even deserve a "Nah-nah-nah-nah!"
Hollerin 'hey' (which is completely Texan) right back at'cha. Hope your trip exceeds all expectations!
Wow! Some journey eh?
Thinking of you at this time. Glad you're together... I think you are, aren't you?
this happened to a friend of mines. I told her that if it was me I could never trust him again. She went to work and went home for lunch and he was all moved out. She wanted him back. I held my peace. Soon I hope that she feels the way you do and the pain stops. It's been seven months now. She gave him six to return home and he didn't. But I understand you because I would have done the same. Trust is big in my book!
What a relief! Thank God for endings.
Praying for an abundance of prosperity in every area.
Blessings...
keasty ~ yup, my friend, some journey indeed. :)
rose ~ my pain pretty much stopped after a few hours...it was the uncertainity that scared me until I remembered it's all in His control. I hope your friend learns this soon.
rosemarie ~ Amen, darlin', amen!
As T.D. Jakes taught this morning, (Mark 4:20) I am GOOD GROUND (yup, I am) and my fruit, at the very least, is promised to me 30 fold. At the very least. Abundance of prosperity indeed. I will agree with you in that and I claim it with thanks! Blessings on you and yours, my sweet, sweet friend.
You're wrong. I would let you bring your box inside the house.
seven ~ I adore you.
Don't ever look back. Always look forward. You have your life in front of you...make it happy!!
I'm having a drink for you this evening =D
CONGRATS!!!!!!
dabich ~ I went straight from the court house to the largest margarita that On The Border serves...and it tasted WONDERFUL. Thanks Sugar!!
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