Are you a 'people' person?
I have a difficult time relaxing my guard. I tend to keep a fence around my security area...my comfort zone, so to speak. I'm better than I use to be. There are a few people I've let in to my life that I've learned to trust completely, and fewer still that have never let me down. But they do exist and, trust me, they are stubborn and delusional people, for they see something in me that they believe is worth sticking around for. And, though I love them and am so thankful for them, I simply don't get it.
People I work with, who have known me only a few months, think I'm joking when I say I'm shy. When inside my comfort zone I'm friendly, one might even say personable. My sarcasm is often a self defense mechanism, and yet people take it as humor. Sorry, I'm not that funny. Because of this, I'm often put into the 'spot light' because people think I'm a people person. I'm not. What this does is trigger my anxiety. What people don't see are my frequent trips to the bathroom and my spending a lot of nights not sleeping.
It's not that I think I'm going to self destruct, I'm strong and determined. But, I'm shy. I'd make a great 'people person', but I'm just not one. I wish people could understand, comprehend, that when I say this, I'm not kidding. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm not being sarcastic. The thing is, I like who I am. I'm happy with who I am. I'm genuine, and that's not a common thing among people anymore. If I tell you something, it's true. If I say I love you, I do. If I say I don't care for the person you are, I don't.
Perhaps what I need is tact, because if you ask anyone who knows me, I tend to say what is on my mind. Fortunately, I'm not a mean person, so it's not usually hurtful...unless the truth is hurtful. Even when I say something hurtful, it's said in love; never to be cruel. And yes, I've been known to keep my mouth shut...but you can usually tell that it means you seriously don't want to know what I'm thinking.
I see most of my blog buddies as "people" people. Sometimes you never know, huh?
People I work with, who have known me only a few months, think I'm joking when I say I'm shy. When inside my comfort zone I'm friendly, one might even say personable. My sarcasm is often a self defense mechanism, and yet people take it as humor. Sorry, I'm not that funny. Because of this, I'm often put into the 'spot light' because people think I'm a people person. I'm not. What this does is trigger my anxiety. What people don't see are my frequent trips to the bathroom and my spending a lot of nights not sleeping.
It's not that I think I'm going to self destruct, I'm strong and determined. But, I'm shy. I'd make a great 'people person', but I'm just not one. I wish people could understand, comprehend, that when I say this, I'm not kidding. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm not being sarcastic. The thing is, I like who I am. I'm happy with who I am. I'm genuine, and that's not a common thing among people anymore. If I tell you something, it's true. If I say I love you, I do. If I say I don't care for the person you are, I don't.
Perhaps what I need is tact, because if you ask anyone who knows me, I tend to say what is on my mind. Fortunately, I'm not a mean person, so it's not usually hurtful...unless the truth is hurtful. Even when I say something hurtful, it's said in love; never to be cruel. And yes, I've been known to keep my mouth shut...but you can usually tell that it means you seriously don't want to know what I'm thinking.
I see most of my blog buddies as "people" people. Sometimes you never know, huh?
posted by kathi | 8:59 AM
11 Comments:
I would definitely say that I am a people person, but I used to be painfully shy when I was a teenager. God has created more a self confidence in me as I've gotten older though that has helped me come out of my shell. People fascinate me, and one of the things I like to do when I'm in public places is just watch people interact with one another. I guess that makes me a bit of a snoop too, but oh well.
I’ve been categorized as a “people person” myself, when in fact, I am not very social as most would think either, Kath. Some people call me a “social butterfly”, when actually, I’m just smothered by those around me---trying to free myself from people that tend to want too much from me. I know that sounds mean and ungrateful---I am grateful to people, but sometimes I just want to scream!
Be you. That’s all you can do. If you’re a people person, then so be it, if not, then you are loved “as is”. Nobody is asking you to be something or someone you’re not. Your words are sincere and your entire being is filled with love and compassion. Why label it? I love you just the way you are…I really do!
I totally get it.
michelle ~ I LOVE to people watch, too. I go to the park and out to take pictures and love watching others. Sometimes I'll ask if I can take their picture. People are amazing to watch.
I can strike up a conversation anywhere and before I know it I'm witnessing, or sharing a witness, or just laughing till I'm crying. But if they want to set a date for the future, then my anxiety kicks in and I'm outside my comfort zone. I can be friendly in the 'now'. :)
deb ~ sweetie, this I know about you. As long as we've been buddies, we probably could write each others posts. Well, yours would suffer because I'm not nearly as decent a writer as you. I am an 'as is' person if ever there was one. I really like this label. Love you muchly, girlie girl.
Hmm...It's hard to classify me. While I'm not shy, I don't particularly care for large groups. I enjoy getting together with another family (read: parents and their child(ren)), but I do not care for large family functions. Going to hubby's mother's house for a family event is stressful to me. 20 some odd people under one not particularly large roof. The older kids are wild, no one seems to keep tabs on them, breakable knick knacks all around...
I think you're a people person, but perhaps to those you know and trust. Strangers or folk who really don't know "you," make your walls (security) rise.
Oh, and your humor though not intended to be…translates into stage material. Go figure!
3 c's ~ every time there was a family functin coming up with my in-laws ( and there were very few kids) I'd have panic attacks for days, weeks even, before. Once I get there, I'm fine...a little scared to open my mouth, but okay physically. I always felt like they were probably thinking 'what does he see in her', or 'she must be great in bed'. Well...you know, something along those lines. :)
rosemarie ~ that may be true. Once I know someone ( and they know me ) I do tend to relax and enjoy myself. Thanks for 'getting' my humor, more often than not, I just scare people.
Not a good writer? You can write a fricken novel with all your experiences, the writing style and your ability to touch people's hearts!
Are you nuts?
(Of course you are- that's why I love ya so damn much!)
deb ~ hon, you see me the way you see me because you love me so much. :)
So, Kathi, what IS a people person?
I'm glad you told us you're happy with who you are. That's important. I'm also glad you're forthright, honest, even if sometimes a bit blunt or maybe short.
Hey, I keep coming back don't I?
Keep up the good work. I enjoy your blog.
keasty ~ hey, I can't help it if I'm only 5'4" (barely). :) And yes, you do keep coming back and as always I'm very grateful each time to see.
I'm late...don't kick me!
Yes, I consider myself to be a people person. I love to interact with others, or just people watch. But man-oh-man, don't make me angry! I speak my mind and make no bones about it!
You can call yourself whatever you want, kathi, I love you just the way you are! HUGZ!
Post a Comment
<< Home