Where's my rule book?
sey.This next one is of Charlie today. I took him to get his hair cut, and he got it cut in a way that is perfect for the his new color! The picture doesn't really do him justice, he looks so good!
Me...I went on a 'breakfast date' this morning. Nice guy....soft lips. :) The only thing is that I wasn't expecting to find out anything about his lips on a first date and that made me take a step back. Am I old fashioned or what? I called Casey and talked to him about it on the way home. Casey is of the opinion that it was much too forward to kiss me on a first date, even if it was a good bye kiss (okay, a good bye kiss and a half). I've raised a decent kid, huh? Anyway, he doesn't think I should go out with him again. Me...I dunno. I know it's time for me to get out there, and I've met some men that I am interested in getting to know...as friends first. However, when you're kissing first, the friend part is sort of side lined. I think Casey is right, that's moving too fast for me. Can you go backward, rewind time a little? Again...I dunno.
posted by kathi | 7:54 PM
23 Comments:
Go with your instinct.
My husband and I kissed on our first date. Oh, I initiated it! :D
rosemarie ~ lol, I know. Before and including my husband (ex...let's not forget those 2 sweet little letters), I don't think I ever had a date that I didn't at least kiss on. Geeze, I married my ex before our 2 wk anniversary of meeting. Now, though...it's different, I'm different. We'll see.
WHAT!
katy ~ I KNOW!!! I tried to call you but you didn't answer your home phone. We'll talk. :)
ha... dating and babies... neither come with an instruction manual and both should! first of all... congrats! that's a big step and i think it is awesome! second... there are no rules, i say do what you are comfortable with. if the kiss was too much, see less to none of him... if the kiss was nice, i think another dinner might be nice ;~) what cracks me up is anytime i read parenting advice it always says 'do what is right for your child'... if i knew that i wouldn't have googled the question... now here i am saying the same thing to you... irony is stupid ;~) love ya!
BTW - I have said it before and I will say it again... you have some supremely handsome boys!
lovelladro ~ it was a big step...a HUGE step for me. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it felt awkward even a tad uncomfortable. But I don't know if it was the date or just me. The kiss...at first all I could think was, 'wow, nice kiss'...then it was all 'whoaaaa'. So, dunno.
And with the kids, hon...you feel like that now, you'll feel like that when they're 18. All you can do is trust your instincts...and be sensitive to the leading and guiding of the HOLY SPIRIT. No one will ever know your child like you, and good advice for one child isn't necessarily good advice for yours. One thing I learned quickly was that the way my in-laws and neighbors raised their kids was not the way I had to raise mine. Looking back now, so glad I faced their ridicule and stuck to my beliefs. You'll do wonderful.
OMG!! Yea for you. I am so excited that you went out on a date!! I personally don't think that a sweet good-bye kiss is too fast for a first date, but that's just me.
Let us know if you go out with him again, I can't wait to hear about it!!! Oh, and did I say that I am so excited for you!!;)
STOP. It's not like the guy put his hand up your shirt. Too forward? Whatever. At a certain age, time becomes a factor. You have to weed out the runner ups before you find a champion. If this kiss and a half, which I guess means some tongue is his way of doing it...what harm is done? If you think it was too forward then I am guessing you are not right for him and move on. Easy stuff this life, if you let it be.
michelle ~ :) Yay for me! It wasn't so much that a 'good bye kiss' was too much, just that this one sort of was...for me anyway. Dunno, still wonderin' about it.
tom ~ goof. He didn't put his hand 'up' my shirt, but it roamed a bit in the hug with the kisssss. There was no tongue, again...goof, but when I drew back from the first one, he still kissed me again before I stopped it. Whatever, it made me unconfortable.
I've been out of dating for the better part of a decade, but I think a goodbye kiss on a first date is OK.
I think it's great that you can talk about those things with your son, but is any son going to be okay with the idea of some dude kissing him mom? Ha.
Anyway, that said, if it made you uncomfortable, that's what's important. You can either not see him again, or if you like him, you could tell him it made you uncomfortable at this point. You've got nothing to lose doing that - If he is a good guy, he will understand. If he's got a problem with it, then there's your answer.
But yay for getting yourself out there!!!
Yeah, what all of them said.
The main thing is that if it didn't feel right, for ANY reason, then it wasn't. That doesn't mean he is a bad guy or you're an uptight gal. It just means it wasn't right ... at least for the 1st date. If he calls again and you want to go out, do it! But also let him know you want to move a little slower. There is nothing wrong with that. If he isn't patient enough, he isn't right. If he is, you just might have a gem.
Kathi, I've had "kissing friends." and with a couple of them it turned into a nice relationship. In that sense, you can go backward, I think, but you both need to know what the other is doing.
And your boys ... both very handsome. You say that picture of Charlie doesn't do him justice, but he still looks good in it. You're a lucky mom!
Good luck on the dating thing! Whatever, it will be an adventure!!
Oh, to have two hotties like Charlie and Casey, many moms would be proud....and you ARE!!!
As for your date, everyone has said it all.
Go with the instinct...intuition, whatever you call it. Listen to your inner self.
HUGZ!
I love pictures of brothers together. Just something about it. They are so sweet - but you've already heard that a thousand times. I can only hope mine make me as proud as yours have to you. I'm a prayin'!
Good for you about the date - you'll figure it out!
Oh and I agree with your AI choice - that kid is wonderful and seems so humble. I can't wait to see what he'll sing this week. Although I have to admit I do like the Austrailan rocker - he is hot:)
Hmm... first of all, your boys are adorable!!! :D They're also protective and so loving toward you- that's precious ...
Umm... Hmm... I like what Rosemarie said, to go with your instinct. I think that's the best advice that I can think of. It does take two to tango, ...so... if it was a "kiss and a half", it could have been a kiss that was rejected. *wink*
I think you should continue a friendship with him, with the chance of a possibility that it may blossom into something beautiful. I do believe that some people get amazing chemistry with certain individuals.
P.S. If you're thinking about it a lot, then that's a good sign. :)
You have some great looking and smart sons. If the kiss made you uncomfortable then go with your intution.
Who would ask their teenage son's opinion?
Love when anonymous people make comments like that.
While I can't say whether or not I would do that myself if I were in her situation, I think they are a lucky family in which mothers and teenage boys are comfortable talking about such things. It was just a kiss, nothing lewd. Who better to give dating advice then someone right smack dab in the middle of the dating scene?
Sorry, Kathi...I get peeved when people make snide little comments and can't even put their blogging name to it. :)
3 c's ~ the boys have encouraged me to start dating, so I think they'd be okay with it. Good thing is, I did it...got that first date out of the way. More to come? Who knows? Not going to worry about it, I'm in no hurry. I'm so glad to have y'all to share with me.
lynilu ~ lol, you little hussy! I've had mostly male friends all my life, never had one I kissed on the mouth though. Yeah, I dunno. Thing is if I'm uncomfortable, regardless of whether it's 'right' or not, it's how I feel...and that's what the reality of it is. Doesn't mean it's right or wrong, simply how I feel. :)
dabich ~ always love me some dabich. :)
deb ~ yup, I'm a blessed mom! And to be honest with you, I'm not thinking about it all that much. That whole what'ever, it's in God's hands not mine kind of thing, you know? Love ya sugar!
rose ~ thank you, and I am with you 100%, thank you.
anon ~ me.
3 c's ~ nice to know you have my back darlin'. Thank you, feel free to cover me any time. :)
I think it is ok if you kiss on the first date. It was only a good bye kiss. If you feel an attraction, thats fine.
I kiss my friends that are female.
But not on the lips. And not if they are married. And only if they are pretty and younger than me. And only if they let me without wincing.
That means I kiss one girl friend on the cheeks (the face cheeks)
Still, I do have rules!
seven ~ first, BABE, it is so good to see you! Second, hon, your rules have you kissing hotel staff, LOL. ;) Yeah, I know, completely innocent and I think I remember it being on the cheek. Again, sooo good to see you!
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