Parenting takes some balls

...seriously. It's hard, and it can be scary, and it's unbelievably frustrating. Sometimes all I can do is get on my knees, bury my head and give it up to God because, honestly, sometimes it's just more than I can bear.

This week I had to go through something I never, ever, thought I'd have to do. A couple of days ago I was rather frustrated from an errand I had to run after work (still dealing with CareNow, Satan's playground for workman's comp), and I came home to a mess in my house. Charlie started driver's ed this past Monday, and I was in a crunch to get him to class on time. I was tempted to not allow him to go to driver's ed because of his lack of consideration, leaving me a mess to deal with after working all day, but driver's ed isn't cheap and I hate to throw out $400 for a bad mood. So, I took the kid's cell phone away along with his computer privileges. Charlie doesn't talk back...okay, he's a teenager, but he rarely talks back. So, he handed over his cell phone with no complaints, but trust me, I know this had to rip his heart in two (he's a texter, after all).

After dropping him off at driver's ed, I heard his phone recieve a text and I read it. Yes, I did. As if my mood wasn't bad enough, what I read literally dropped me to my knees. It was from a friend of his and it was regarding the selling of drugs to another friend of his. My temperature is rising and I'm sure my face is flushed just thinking about it again. It was all I could do to keep from going up to driver's ed and pulling him out of class.

While I sat in the parking lot, waiting for him to get out of class, I read these texts I'd found on Charlie's phone a hundred times, trying to imagine it meaning something else. Anything but what I was sure it meant. When Charlie got in the car, I sat there for a minute and tried to breathe. I showed Charlie the text messages and he confirmed that yes, it was about drugs. One thing I'm very proud of my kids for is that they would rather get in trouble than lie...it's one trait I've worked very hard to pass on to them. He said that he wasn't involved personally. I questioned him about his ever, ever, doing drugs and he said no. I must not have looked convinced and he said 'Mom, you work at a doctor's office. Have me tested, do a urine or hair test.' I believe him.

But I still drove him and his cell phone to the police station.

At first Charlie was a tad shocked that I was going to take him and his phone to the police. But, I have always told them that if I ever suspected or had evidence of them doing drugs I'd call the police. Honestly, I always thought it was more of a scare tactic...an empty bluff. But when this happened, there was no way I was going to go home knowing that there was a sale of drugs at the high school and not do anything about it. I also wonder, just as a personal side note, how different my life may have been if my mom would have noticed once, just one single time, that I couldn't stand up straight, talk without slurring or walk through a door without running into it. Anyway, on the way into the police station, Charlie was telling me about how the friend that had sent the first text about bringing the drugs to school to sell, had fallen asleep in class earlier this week and they'd not been able to wake him up. What???

Once in the police station, they called down a detective to talk to us and I explained how I'd gotten a hold of the phone, read the text and confronted Charlie. They asked Charlie some questions and he was very respectful, gave them honest answers to what they asked and filled out a report. The dectective told me that he was so impressed with Charlie, how Charlie wasn't only respectful with him (the detective) but with me. He said that most kids whose parents bring them in refuse to talk, make eye contact or are hateful to the parents for dragging them in. When Charlie and I walked out of the police department, I told Charlie that I knew he was going to be mad at me for awhile, and this is what he said to me. "Mom, I'm not mad at you. If I had a kid that was having anything to do with drugs, I'd do the same thing."

I love this kid.

The police were waiting the next day when one of Charlie's friends got off the bus. They called in the other friend to the office. One of the kids will be going to an alternative school for a few weeks and the other one is hopefully scared straight...or straighter anyway. They asked Charlie if he knew anything about it, and he told them the truth. That his mom had confiscated his cell phone for not doing his chores, had then read their texts and taken both himself and his phone to the police station.

Another side note: a year ago this friend selling the drugs had been grounded from my house because I'd read on his myspace that he'd been drinking. I asked him about it , if he really drank like he put on his myspace or if he did drugs. He admitted to me that his relatives bought him alcohol and he did drink, but he didn't do drugs. I told him that if I ever saw him intoxicated that I'd not only report him but his relatives for supplying it to him, and I asked him if we were clear. He said 'yes ma'am'. Then I told him that if I ever had any reason to believe he was encouraging Charlie to drink or do drugs that I'd come after him with all that was in me. I asked him if he understood and he said 'yes ma'am'. Apparently he didn't.