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I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Who's To Say?

I love a good debate, even a good, but fair, argument. I think that 'hitting below the belt' shows signs of lacking a good comeback, where one's intelligence has tested it's limits and has hit a brick wall. Then things can get ugly. But, taking that out of equation, I think debating issues stirs the emotions that make people think, gives them reason to speak up and encourages good communication.

People who agree with everything I say bring about a couple of things from me. One is boredom, and the next is distrust. If you agree with everything I say, you either have no opinion (or backbone), or you're lying.

Two of my oldest and best blog buddies, deb and lisa, are a couple of the most outspoken people I know. They're intelligent, passionate and caring women. We have many things in common, and many things we differ on. One thing we share is that we speak up. Many of you made your way over to wes' blog yesterday and that was a great little debate going on over there. I loved it, and as Wes pointed out, it never turned ugly. Emotions came out in the way of sarcasm, maybe, but that's not getting ugly. I love sarcasm. To me, it's a sign of intelligence and people who can't take sarcasm are simply too thin skinned. But, that's my opinion.
My best friend, Katy, always tells me what she thinks. She's never disguised her true feelings with me, even if I'd wanted her to sometimes, because she believes that what she had to say is what I needed to hear. At the time, it may have rubbed me a bit raw, but it gave me reason to think about what she said because I know she loves me and she's an honest and intelligent person. I can count on her, always, to be a voice of reason.

My first marriage was a roller coaster of a ride. It's highs were great and it's lows were devastating. But it was full of emotion, and I prefer that to boring. I hate boring. No opinion is boring. No discussion is boring. Never disagreeing is boring. Any of you that have talked to me in person, on the phone or on-line, know full well that I can have a complete argument with myself because I'll play both sides sometimes to see where I need to meet myself in the middle...compromise.

The subject for this post is that it's not only okay, but good, to disagree. Especially if it brings about discussing, debating and even a good, friendly argument. It gives one an outlet for their emotions. Harboring one's emotions is never a good thing. We've all seen the results of emotions that kept being buried until there was no more room and then they explode. That's a dangerous result of not expressing your opinion.

I appreciate differences.


Blogger 3carnations said...

Nice post. That is one way that hubby and I differ. I also appreciate a debate (sorry if I'm agreeing too much :) ), while hubby tends to look at it more as arguing when we are discussing something about which we have a difference of opinion. If he gets defensive, I have to remind him that I'm not saying he is wrong, I am just trying to understand WHY he feels the way he does about a topic.

10:27 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

3 c's ~ my current ex (I don't know what to call him since we're not divorced yet but he's not my husband) either agreed or was angry...I hated that. Couldn't ever discuss something without him getting defensive and/or angry and his anger lasted for a long time. I just never understood that. I would get to the point of being afraid to discuss things because I knew it'd end badly. That's why I had to have friends outside of the marriage, I needed some spice in my life. Not saying that's how it is at your house, just that I can understand.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...


Kathi thinks I'm "spicy"

And argumentative....it doesn't get much better than that!

11:01 AM  
Anonymous katy said...

Still waiting!!!!!!!! Blown off for a puppy!

12:01 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

lisa ~ spicy as in a pain in the gut. :)

katy ~ did you not see the dog pictures?? I didn't get back inside for quite a while...sorry!! Geeze, phone rings both ways, ya know. I've been working the last few days, call you after work. I love you, too!

2:44 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

It can get very complicated when it comes to religion and politics---but a healthy debate sometimes doesn't come very easy for some. Others resort to 'name calling' or simply just insult and ridicule one another like children. It's sad. My blog has had its share and it's still brewin' as we speak.

I dated someone who always ALWAYS agreed with me. *YAWN*

Love you Kath!!!!!!

5:40 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

I just came back from Wes' site and was amazed how many people took offense, however, I can understand the sensitive issue upon what he spoke of & how some would react to it.

Thanks for referring to him. I love his writing!

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While the best relationships I have been in yielded almost zero arguments, disagreement with other friends/colleagues are good to balance everything out.

Also, life would SO NOT be fun if we were all the same....

8:13 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Wes, it would be one boring world if we all had the same mindset.

8:26 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

deb ~ yup, I've been yawning for quite a while now...I'm looking forward to some stimulation (mind wise, girl. hush!)

wes ~ disagreeing or differences of opinions don't automatically equal arguments. So what you're saying is your best relationships have been with women who think (or say they do anyway) just like you?
Just askin'. ;)

8:52 AM  
Blogger Leesa said...


I disagree. I believe everybody ought to get their views from the little orange men who live in my vanilla extract. They are so smart.

Sorry for disagreeing with you, but you know, the little orange men told me to.

11:59 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

leesa ~ goof :) And they're not orange, more of a tangerine.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have to disagree. If we do not, we laern nothing.

3:29 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

I totally agree with everything you just wrote!!

3:12 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

epsilonicus ~ true. Loved your post on a fathers rights re: abortion. Good stuff.

dzer ~ smart ass :)

8:31 AM  
Blogger Rosemarie said...

My husband and I by definition are opposites. Yeah! However, we also have other contrasting characteristics that make this journey interesting. Having said that, we also share strong family and faith values.

My closest friends are of different backgrounds. Still, the important aspects that define us to include motherhood, expression, creativity, humor, and intelligence, we certainly share.

Differences I respect, but debating is no my forte.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

I used to debate a lot with people. Now I keep it to a minimum. Too much disagreeing during the course of debate can completely reshape my opinion of people. Hell, a few past ill fated debates or two has totally altered my relationships with people for the worst.

10:26 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

rosemarie & Shawn ~ I understand what you're both saying. I guess I'm drawn to people who will disagree and talk it out,,,and debate. I loved the debate team in high school and have always been drawn to guys who'd stand up to me and not be afraid to argue a point home. I've not had that in a looonnngggg time, I'm looking for it again, though.

11:46 AM  

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