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I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Please Don't Use Me

I can be a good friend. I'll laugh with you, I'll cry with you, I'll protect you to my last breath, but I'll not be used. When it gets to the point that each phone call you make to me has an ulterior motive...quit calling me. When I see that it's you calling on the caller i.d., I now answer the phone saying 'hey, what can I do for you?' You will laugh every time asking 'can't I just call to see how you're doing?'. You could, but you don't. By the end of each call, why you've called is revealed and I can finally quit wondering what you need and hang up. A friend should always be there to help you when you need it, but they shouldn't be there to live your life for you. If you honestly need so much, you've got too much on your plate...bitten off more than you can chew...can I put it any plainer? You're being selfish. Give something up so that I don't have to give something up to take care of your responsibilities.

If you can't afford to go somewhere, don't go. Don't wait until we're there, or on our way, to ask if you can borrow the money. I've got kids who I'd rather spend the money on. Don't tell me you'll pay me back or that you'll pay me back next time you're paid because we both know how true that is.

Don't tell me that I don't understand how hard it is for you. Please. It's an insult to insinuate that I'm where I am today without having gone through hard times. Don't tell me that I know you love me. I don't believe you can love someone without respecting them. Face it, using someone so that you can continue to live the 'good life' without being responsible for any of it is not showing anyone you're using respect.

Today, I'm telling you this as a friend. Tomorrow...I may just be telling you this, period.


Blogger Casually Me said...

Short list of people I never plan to piss off:

1. kathi
2. Jesus
Possibly in that order. Ahhh, as a man with few friends...I get it girl...I get it.

8:02 AM  
Blogger SmileDragon said...

True dat, true dat! ;)

8:18 AM  
Blogger ~ Amanda X&O said...

You get em girl.....

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you Kathi!


10:57 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

tom ~ see, I keep telling you how smart you are! :)

crystal ~ exactly!

amanda ~ thank you, I'm trying. :)

abi ~ right back at'cha with all my heart.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Blogger has been a pain in the ass today...but now I can comment.

Good for you...I dislike people like that.

7:59 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

mike ~ don't I know it, what's up with blogger. And yeah, just about everybody does. :)

8:23 PM  
Blogger Johnnie Avocado said...

Note to self.....don't piss Kathi off....

10:04 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

johnnie ~ you're back! I doubt that you're a user, no worries. :)

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice post. Friendships (or any relationship) for that matter should not be taken for granted

I have personally never done this and in fact with closer friends I tend to be much more careful


12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you break it down over here Kathi don't you. You come across as Mrs. Brady but you've got some gangsta' in you, mama! :-)


1:49 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

I've had too many "friends" like that over the years, people I didn't hear from unless they needed something, who didn't come by unless there was free food and booze for them, who never did anything for anyone but themselves.

Good for you for taking a stand and being up front and honest about it ...

3:30 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

tbg ~ I don't see you being this type, good to see you again.

chef ~ LOL, I've heard the Mrs. Brady reference before, too funny. Thanks for stopping by and the comment.

dzer ~ you must live on my block babe, and here you go telling people you're in Guam...liar.

6:46 AM  
Blogger :phil: said...

There's an old saying "I have friends I haven't even used yet". It sounds like your friend's list is getting rather short. I dislike people like that. Thankfully I don't have any in my life right now. Your friend is on their way to losing a great friend - you.

7:17 AM  
Blogger LoveLladro said...

I am with you Kathi... I am currently dealing with a friend who all she does is take. No back and forth, just a constant focus on her. I think people forget what a true friendship looks like sometimes.
Much love to you and I pray all is well ;~)

9:40 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

Why is it we all have someone like this? It makes me angry that someone would treat you that way kathi..

I hope that maybe they just dont realize and you talking to them will be a wake up call.

But I kind of doubt it. They will pbly just move on to someone else to mooch off of.

Sorry Kathi..

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to have a friend just like this. They seemed to only call when they needed something. When I went away, I never heard from them again. I guess I was too far away to mooch off.

10:20 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

damm girl
i love the way you rant.

i even feel like that about healthy teenagers who panhandle. "uh kid i have bills to pay why don't you get a job?"

and i know that's harsh but still, i can't support myself, who do i have to support them?

5:33 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

damm girl
i love the way you rant.

i even feel like that about healthy teenagers who panhandle. "uh kid i have bills to pay why don't you get a job?"

and i know that's harsh but still, i can't support myself, who do i have to support them?

5:33 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

*glares at blogger*

5:35 PM  
Blogger Leesa said...

I've been in relationships like this before. Usually time to cut loose.

5:57 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

phil ~ I hope it doesn't come to that. Thanks for the sweet words.

lovelladro ~ sad, because I don't even think they realize they're doing it, it's just so natural to them.

anne ~ it makes me smile to know that y'all take something done to me personally too. I love you sugar.

epsilonicus ~ I've lived next door to my buddy for 10 years. :)

sass ~ s'okay, I enjoyed it so much, it was great to read it twice, lol. I've seen very few pan handlers.

leesa ~ I hope not, but the reason I've accepted it for so long no longer exists, so it could be.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Bill Jones, Jr said...

Kathi, love you, hate the blogmeister.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

"Give something up so that I don't have to give something up to take care of your responsibilities." Ain't that the truth

7:48 AM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Oh my LORD! I am having the same problem girl! If you do not have the money to go out---THEN STAY THE EFF HOME! .... Seriously. I have a friend who constantly says, "Hey! Let's go out!" And then when we're going out, she decides to drop the bomb on me and says she's broke.


10:32 PM  
Blogger samuru999 said...

HI Kathi,
You were at my Blog.. so, I came over to see you. I love this posting. So very true.
I will be back soon.

8:38 PM  
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6:15 PM  

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