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MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT

I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Monday, October 24, 2005

Jokes For Monday

Debbie, my cousin in Indiana, sent me a couple jokes this morning. I feel like sharing...

THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. " I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND.THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT - I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

One more:

Menopause Jewelry ~
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

19 Comments:

Blogger Wendy said...

LMFO!! (laugh my fax off!!) ha ha ha! Loved 'em!

3:47 PM  
Blogger Georgiapeach said...

Those were hillarious. Especially the mood ring one!

4:00 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

The 2nd joke was cute

5:34 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

wendy ~ I laughed too.

georgia ~ My hubby didn't laugh as much as I did about the mood ring. LOL

shawn ~ yeah, I thought so too, how're you doing shawn?

9:09 PM  
Blogger Wes said...

A diamond would probably kill him, no? Heh heh

9:47 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

Do we still have to buy diamonds? When are those plastic rings gonna get popular?

8:26 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

dzer ~ do you really WANT the kind of woman who would WANT those plastic rings?

8:41 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

kathi: I'm sure my wallet wants that kind of woman?

see what happens when ladies buy into the advertising pressure put on them by corporate (male) america? I say rise up! divest yourselves of diamonds! don't let them pander to you any longer!!

*sigh*

it was worth a shot ;)

8:55 AM  
Anonymous blackops said...

Yes, I like the second one too....but sometimes if I dont wipe good, Im getting a fax too.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Three Blog Night said...

nice jokes....forwarded the jewelry to the wife...should make for interesting conversation later.

9:45 AM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Ha! I don't wanna be handling that fax!

Too funny about the mood ring. I think if I had a mood ring, the medication would definitely offset it.

Hmm.....

10:56 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

Y'all are just too funny.

Dzer ~ it may have been worth a shot, but darlin', you were shootin blanks

blackops ~ too much information babe

tbn ~ yeah, be sure and tell us about that conversation

deb ~ lol, I've got two moods: 'good' and 'get out of my way'

11:47 AM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

I have multiple personalities...I name them all. So it's not so much the mood per se, it's all about WHO'S taking over now.

Again, I will say, ...poor poor Madelene.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Timmy said...

'specially liked the first one...
Someone told me this one earlier today: If big-breasted women go to Hooters when they need a job, where do all of the one-legged girls go?
IHOP.

12:44 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

deb ~ bet you're glad you had maddy there when you were on the bathroom floor!

timmy ~ as sick as the joke it, it made me laugh. As usual.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Eddie said...

Hilarious! Love it.

1:22 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Yes I was grateful. As soon as I recover from my back injury, I'm taking her to IHOP...errr...I mean Hooters. ;)

3:48 PM  
Blogger Clay said...

lol- that was a cackle!

10:57 PM  
Blogger Salbert said...

I guess I'm not the only one with a fax machine there... check out my blog, coffeeandstockblog.blogspot.com soon. Thanks.

9:55 AM  

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