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MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT

I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

French, Girlfriends & Our Girl

I actually had a good day subbing. Didn't learn any French (well, actually I learned how to say 'will you sleep with me tonight' by Leesa and Video X on my blog's comments), but the teacher (she threw her back out last night) called me this morning and walked me through more than enough work to keep the kids busy. But, I don't like to weigh the kids down with a ton of busy work, so I asked her what was the most important work to get done and we focused on that. Afterwards I let them play hangman on the whiteboard using only the French vocabulary in the chapters they're up to. And, the teams had to know the meaning of the word. So, they all had fun, they got to get out of their seats and get a little vocal. Fun was had by all.
I also had 2, count them...1....2, of Charlies (my 14 yr old) past girl friends in my classes...and one girl that he's got a crush on now (and I can see why!). The first period I had Tessa. I've always loved Tessa, they started doing the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' thing in about the 3rd grade and liked each other through the 6th grade. We took her to a lot of movies and out to eat with us. I loved her. She dressed like a 70's flower child, cute as a button. In my 3rd period I had Katy. I actually didn't know they'd ever 'gone out' until she told me a couple of weeks ago when I had her in a biology class I was subbing. Going out meaning walking each other to class and stuff, because they never went anywhere, but she is a cutie. Then, finally I had Rachel in a class. I've heard him talk about her, but I've never had her in a class till today. Tall, long blonde hair, smart...I liked her. But I couldn't tell her that my baby has a huge crush on her! I hated that. I've been carrying her last name on a piece of paper for a long time because every time I have a blonde Rachel in my class I wonder if it's her. My kid does have some great taste in women, okay...girls. First time I've ever known him to be shy around a girl, so maybe she's something special. Hmmmm?
During my off period I was asked to sit in on a 'pass' class that consisted of 3 kids that are considered high risk and the school is not allowed to have less than 2 teachers in there at any given time. High risk being anything from severe ADHD to violence. This is something that disturbs me because one of them was a pretty good friend of Charlie's last year and the other two are friends of his. Not good ones, but friends all the same. I told Charlie about it when he got home from wrestling tonight and he said that the one that was his good friend last year (which apparently is in because he has a difficult time controlling his temper in classes) is one of his school's best players on the football team this year. Wow. I'd think you'd have to attend regular classes to play on a team, but what do I know? It was a totally uneventful period while I was there.
On another note, do you remember the post I had on 'Our Girl'? The next door neighbor that I'd told y'all about and how I was thinking about telling her that she was no longer welcome in my home? Well, we had a talk where I stated my intent (clearly) to ban her from my home and family if she had contact with her drug buddy 'Idiot'. She was adamant that she was through with him. Today, she crossed this line, again. So, I had to tell her that she was no longer welcome here. Absolutely broke my heart. She cried, I cried (but not until I got back into my house), she pleaded and I walked away. Did I mention it broke my heart?? When Mark got home she ran to him outside and presented her case to him, there were circumstances that I wouldn't listen to (a friend of theirs had committed suicide yesterday and they were consoling each other). Mark thinks I should give her another chance. I don't. Do you? Do I want to, hell yes. But everything in me tells me not to. For the first time ever, she's had someone give an ultimatum and stand by it. But, damn...it's soooo hard.
Okay, enough. Tired and I'm off to bed.
Hugs

14 Comments:

Blogger Wendy said...

I don't know the whole story with the girl, but I do have a soft heart. If you felt so bad, it's because you care about her and perhaps have a tad bit of doubt about your decision. So, if you care about her, maybe just ONE MORE chance is in order. Perhaps you actually telling her she'll no longer be welcome was the kick in the head she needed. So, if you go talk to her and tell her you're willing to give her ONE MORE chance, THEN the ball is truly in her court, and if she messes up, you can walk away without feeling bad because you stepped up and gave her the extra chance. Am I just too soft? Like I said, I don't know the whole story. And, I know it's easy for ME to say since I'm not walking in your shoes.


My sweet daughter is 8 and she already has a crush on a boy. All I have to do is say "Eeeethannnn" and she gets all red and mushy.

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Charlies sounds like a hit with the ladies! I think that you subbing for their classes is outstanding, ah hahahaha

9:34 PM  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

WOW boy friend/ girl friend talk, sounds like home. Come on by and check out my place. I'll go back and read more.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay okay, I understand that you may have been a little heart broken and deep down want to give this girl another chance but it does certainly conflict with your October 14th Thursday post--and I will quote, "Thank God for my husband for being such a hands on kind of dad that it helped get my kids to an age where I wasn't tempted to smother them in their sleep". Now does that sound like someone who has a heart or would be concerned about their feelings? Hmmm....? :) Sounds more like serial killer or maybe even mass murderer stuff to me :)

6:01 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

video x ~ Me cool? Don't think so. Yup, your time is a commin' with the boy, but I'm with you on being glad we don't have girls!! And, thanks for the input, appreciate it very much.

Wendy ~ You're very sweet. Thanks for your input too. Can't backstep too many times tho, the last time was the last time. :)

Mom ~ Can relate, huh? On my way to your place now.

Wes ~ Yup, he's a hit. Hoping someday he'll have his own blog just like you and blackops :)

blackops ~ FINALLY, someone who gets me! (Better be careful, it almost looks like you really read my stuff) :)

6:09 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Absoloutly understand the torn feelings... however you definitely have to put yourself and your family first. And protecting them has to be number one. I don't envy you... that sucks... :(

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kelli
You obviously arent following along, we talking about Kathi McIntire Bratcher, she has 3 names for a reason, she is either wanted by the FBI or IS a serial killer, she smothers children...........okay now snap out of it, this is a blog remember, you must be able to decipher the BS from the real stuff.
Now K, probably wants to be good but likes to put up this front that she is tough and mean, probably a defense mechanism no less. However Carl Jung, the psychiatrist talks about everyone has a "dark side" that trys to rise up from within.
I really dont know what to make of this Kathi...hmmm *arms folded but rubbing my chin with one hand*.

Then again any of this that I may have said means nothing since its really late and the tequila from dinner out may not have worn off yet. Mwah hahahahahaaaa....ramble blogging at its best :)

1:15 AM  
Blogger BigBill said...

Nope!!
No second chance.
You have been there you know what it's like to lie to people just to get high and do what you want to do. Especially people on drugs they lie even more and sometimes they even believe their own lies.
This may sound likea rehab rant or pitch but she is using drugs. She will continue to use you without regard for you or your family.
Don't subject your family to that.
It's a shame because it is her Mothers career that caused this.. Leaving her on her own to do what she wants was not smart. She does not know that what she is doing is wrong.. Good luck.

4:00 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

kellie ~ thanks for understanding my pain here *kicks blackops where he'll feel it most*, it is tough for me.

bill ~ I agree with you completely, 100%. Remember this day.

blackops ~ I knew I missed you for a reason. (Shouldn't you have given a heads up about going away for a few days, there are those of us that care. Okay, probably just me, but still...)
I wish this was a front that I put up, life would be easier. Sad to say, nope, it's not. However, I've never, ever smothered a child. I said I'd comtemplated it, but the consequences stopped me. :) And Mark, of course...he's my hero.

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know it's hard, but I think you are making the right decision. I remember when she used to be a good friend of mine and we hung out all the time. I'm sorry to see things have turned out like this for her, but she needs to learn her lesson. Maybe it's harsh, but it's a harsh world out there. You made your point perfectly clear to her and if she truly cared about your wishes, she wouldn't have had him over again no matter the reason. You know I support your decision either way and I admire you for always being there for me. Love you!! and I may have to stop by for a hug and a visit soon...sounds like you could use it :)

4:57 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

nikki ~ I'm so proud of you, you know that. I really appreciate your comments. I love you very much. Big hugs!

5:24 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

Oh, and Nikki ~ I always welcome your hugs darlin, bring it on! And it was really cool seeing something from you on here. Love you!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

It may be hard but you need to be firm and keep this young woman away from your family until she truly reaches out for help.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Yeah, I am sort of wondering about how fast boys and girls are growing up as well.

10:48 AM  

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