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I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

My Pat

I've been fortunate to have some really strong and supportive women in my life. My grandmothers were both strong women. My paternal grandmother was one of my best friends. She always supported and loved me...regardless. Bless her heart. I always let her know where I was living and what was going on when I didn't tell anyone else. I've still got her letters in a box. She died in `86.
A little more than a year after my mom died in 1991, my dad met Pat. Everyone should have a Pat. She is one of the strongest ladies I've ever met. Pat has been a great deal of support for me and is still one of my closest friends.
When my mom died, I missed her terribly. (Still do...still talk to her and I still hear her answer me. She's still sarcastic)
Pat called my dad and invited him over for coffee...took him a couple of months to get there, but once he did, he was hooked. Thank God. Though I'd never heard my dad compliment anyone really, he ranted and raved about how great this woman he'd met was. He said she had it all, looks, smarts...he was smitten. I was happy for him, didn't understand so much what the woman saw in him, but I was happy for him all the same.
I don't remember how long it was before he brought her to visit us in Texas. I automatically loved her. Pat is one of these women that will look you in the eye, tell you exactly what she thinks and say it with style and grace. She's not a girly girl, she'll get her hands dirty, but she's a beautiful woman that takes great pride in her appearance... I'm not so sure she takes great 'pride' in it...but she looks as if she does. She's always beautiful, but in a natural way. I have always been able to talk to Pat, and not worry she'll hold it against me. That's not always the case with me, so I appreciated this a great deal in Pat.
Pat is also the only grandmother my boys have ever known on my side of the family. They were too young when my mom died to remember her. They've seen pictures and video...but they don't remember her. Pat took to my kids and treated them like they were her own grandkids right away. She still does. When my boys were little, they'd call her their Pat. They'd say they had a Mamacita (Marks mom) and a Pat. And she was...she was their 'Pat'.
I didn't know my dad as the kind of man that ever really got personally involved. (See the post on My Mom to get a view of the man I knew) But for some reason, Pat brought out a side to him that we didn't get to see often. He was kind and caring with her. He'd talk about how good she was to him, how proud he was of her. I'd never heard my dad talk like this before, so it kind of gave him a real 'human' quality. I loved the man that he was around Pat.
They dated for about 8 years. Why he didn't marry her, I don't know. Well...not everyone in my family felt the same way about Pat, but that's it's own story and not one really worth mentioning. Pat was good for my dad and she loved him.
As my dad got older, he became more selfish and harder to get along with. Pat put up with him, loved him and spoiled him. God love her, she went through a lot with him. One day, he just got up and walked out of her house (you know how you see little kids have a tantrum...think of a 150 lb, 70'ish year old man...yup, thats him!) and never went back.
Sweet Pat, broke her heart and my heart. Fortunately, God had a wonderful man living next door to her that appreciated her and loved her the way she deserved. I continued to visit her every time I went back home. After all, she's my 'Pat'. Pat later married her wonderful neighbor and they moved to Florida. I've not seen her in a few years. But we email, and we occasionally talk by phone.
I've always been a little jealous of Pat's kids. She has three daughters that are all successful and all have a great relationship with their mom. Pat has grandkids and great grandkids. She volunteers her time, she sings in the church choir and she still makes time for all her family. God gave me a great example of what a mom should, and could, be. He also gave me a great friend.
I've always been grateful for 'my Pat'.


Anonymous jan said...

Do you think you replaced your mom with Pat?

10:42 AM  
Anonymous blackops said...

Sounds like Pat is an awesome lady, too bad your dad gave her up. I guess you knew it wouldnt last.

7:49 PM  
Blogger Clay said...

it is good to have these Pats in life -- lets us know there are still good people out there.

7:51 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

jan ~ No, Pat was and always will be her own person in my life.

blackops ~ She is, it was and I did..but I'd hoped.

cane ~ Yup, she's one of the good ones.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rock on Pat, we need more like her

9:20 PM  
Blogger Twisted Chick said...

I'm happy for you that you were able to stay in contact with her. I'm still looking for my Pat...maybe someday. :)

9:43 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

wes ~ tis true.

tc ~ yup, I'm blessed. I hope you find your Pat too.

11:00 PM  
Blogger larin von smartass said...

thats great that a relationship could still exist between you and Pat outside of your father. I wouldn't be jealous of her daughters, Im sure you have a completely unique relationship with her, one that probably her daughters don't fully understand.
great writing.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Video X said...

oh that's wonderful to know someone like that! sad she had her heart broken too though. i understand that being jealous thing.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Wayne's Mom said...

You're a pretty special lady yourself! Sounds as if you're on your way to becoming some other people's "Pat."

9:41 AM  
Blogger Romeo Jensen said...

thank god for the pat's of this world... does your dad have any regrets?

3:25 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

larin ~ thanks for that, it's true, I do and I appreciate her very much.
video x ~ yup, I've been very blessed to know her.
Waynes Mom ~ That is the best compliment I could receive, thanks so much.
Romey ~ I agree. My dad wasn't really emotionally capable of regret. Which is sad, he missed out on a great thing with her. He died a few years ago, very much alone relationship wise.

5:59 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your mom's passing.

Pat sounds like an incredible woman with a lot of positive energy. Sometimes we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors---arguments and how much one person can handle. I am sure your dad has his reasons-- but even so, you two are still in contact, and that's what is important.

I'm sure she feels lucky to still have you in her life.

Great post. :)

9:48 PM  
Blogger BigBill said...

Yes this what makes a family a family. People who are in a certain family possition and step up to the plate for the other family members. I bet if we talk to Pat she would same the same thing about you and your family.
Sounds like all is well for and yours....Enjoy it life will go on wether your paying attention or not!!

8:45 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

Deb ~ Thanks, that's very kind. BTW, great story yesterday on your post. You're awesome.
BigBill ~ Thanks for stopping by, and I appreciate the comment. Tis true, life goes on.

9:01 AM  

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