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I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Saying It Three Times Doesn't Make It Right, Or Does It?

Have y'all read or heard about this?

Man Accidentally Divorces Wife in Sleep
By Associated Press

NEW DELHI - Village elders ordered a Muslim man in eastern India to leave his wife after he accidentally divorced her in his sleep, a news report said Tuesday.
Aftab Ansari uttered the Urdu word for divorce, "talaq," three times in his sleep, prompting his worried wife to discuss the matter with her friends, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.
Under Islamic law, a husband need only say "I divorce you" three times to secure a permanent end to his marriage.
Muslim leaders in the couple's village in West Bengal state found out and decreed that Ansari's unconscious utterances constituted a divorce, PTI reported.
But 30-year-old Ansari said he had no intention of leaving his wife of 11 years.
"I have not given talaq. When I uttered talaq three times I had taken medicines to help me sleep," he was quoted as saying in the report.
The religious leaders said that before remarrying, the couple would have to be apart for at least 100 days and that the wife, Sohela, would also have to spend a night with another man and then be divorced by him.
PTI reported that the couple has been ostracized because of their refusal to abide by the decision of the village leaders.

Can you imagine that law here? How many husbands would not be able to say those words fast enough? The only thing that would make up for this is the way it works out for the wife...that by law she'd have to spend the night with another man. I'm wondering how many wives would swear they thought they heard their husband say it when he didn't. Makes you glad for the good old U S of A, huh? Then again, catch me on a bad night...


Blogger Nameless Faceless said...

Such incidents are commonplace in India. The rigidity of such traditional institutions based on religion, caste, creed have always been a bane to the delivery of justice. Its the numerical minority that suffers. Isnt it just crazy for the poor woman to have to go through that all?....lol

10:42 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Now that is nutty.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only if it was that easy to get divorced here. Thats crazy!


12:23 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

why didn't the wife ask her HUSBAND his intentions first? then noone had to know.

man that's some crazy stuff and really weird too.

hope the couple is okay. (does she have to BOINK him or just 'sleep' with the other man?)


1:03 PM  
Anonymous 3carnations said...

Ditto what sassinak said -

"Honey, did you mean to divorce me in your sleep last night?"

"Gosh, no, I'm sorry about that."

"No problem - You were asleep, and didn't know what you were saying. What would you like for breakfast?"

The end.

Talk about a lack of communication...

1:17 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

chakma ~ no kidding! But why did she put herself through that, she could have just kept her mouth shut if he was talking in his sleep.

mike ~ yup

abi ~ hon, you wouldn't want it to be that easy, trust me!!

sass ~ hmmmmm, depends on if it's a Johnny Depp look a like...then the word HAVE is completely outta the equation.

3carnations ~ I'd change it to 'what are you making me for breakfast?' :)

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap that's crazy!!

4:59 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

nikki ~ always a way with words. :)

5:06 PM  
Blogger Nabeel said...

this was brought up in my office today .. ok let me give you a background .. in Islam if you say "I Divorce You" three times .. means that your wife is divorced.

But see many people don't understand .. even though it's the law .. but God is forgiving and all understanding .. The man was sleeping .. when one sleeps he is not in an active state of mind ..

8:04 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Now if my God promised me 72 virgins up at the pearly gates, I'd say, "talaq" three times to my partner too!

Did you ever see "Cold Mountain" with Nicole Kidman, where her and her lover get married by him saying, "Marry me" three times? I think it's an old custom somewhere...not sure where...but somewhere...


I wish I was rich.

I wish I was rich.

I wish I was rich.


8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, I think that is not exactly the way it goes. I was quite curious about this and a Muslim friend of mine from back home told me that this is technically a misintepretation.

The male has to say 'talaq' thrice over a period of 3 months or something like that

But I agree, its a weird law !


9:51 PM  
Blogger Nabeel said...

72 virgins are promised in Heaven .. whether u were married or not.

An unreasonable talaaq (divorce) to your wife might take away that opportunity of having 72 virgins. One cant divorce without a good reason.

9:59 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

deb ~ wake up babe, you're dreaming.

tbg ~ yup, one of the odd ones, for sure.

nabeel ~ I do have one question, is it the same for the wife? I mean if she says it 3 times is she divorced?

10:04 PM  
Blogger joey♥ said...

wow is it really 2006? it's sad that they're being ostracized for something so trivial. thanks for sharing this :).

11:34 PM  
Blogger SmileDragon said...

Wow, interesting story. Crazy too!

11:44 PM  
Blogger Nameless Faceless said...

Kathi, perhaps the wife was being honest to her hubby by asking him if he really did utter those deadly words in his sleep.
Just to cite a past incident which happened sometime last year in a north indian province and which has caught the fancy of the national media and that of the Supreme Court...there was this lady who was supposedly raped by her father-in-law and the customary law board ordered that the lady should be henceforth recignised as the wife of the faterin-law. And should she want to get married to his own husband again, she she should get a fresh 'talaq' from the father-in -law(after one month of cohabitation). of course, the Supreme Court intervened and quashed the dictat of the customary law board!
Coming to yesterday's incident...today I read that the couple has got their marriage registered in the Court yesteerady,hence defying the weird ruling of their community's customs. Their community may oestercize them for that but i see a sort of revolution in it.
Have a nice time, u all.

N:B: The Indian law recognises the customary/religious law of various communities. often cases pertaining to the muslims are settled by these so called Muslim Law Board before they reach the civil courts. Cases of 'talaq' is one such instance. However, in view of the weirdness of such a law, the law board has initiated steps so that 'talaq' loses some of its potent.

6:06 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

joey ~ hey cute stuff! Yeah, hard to believe, huh? It's a wake up call to how blessed we are here, to know that that sort of world still exists.

crystal ~ yup!!

chakma ~ I'm still curious, though, as to whether the law would still hold true if it were the woman who says it instead of the man. Do you know?

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"O men, live with your wives in kindness and equity. If you dislike anything in them, that may be the very point which God will use to bring about much blessing." Quran 4:19

Lack of proper Islamic knowledge about divorce has surely led to some misconceptions in society.

The procedure and the steps before the actual termination of marriage in Islam are described below.
I) The two parties must try to settle their differences on their own. (II) If they fail, two arbitrators, one from the husband’s relatives, and one from the wife’s relatives, must be appointed to try to make peace and to settle their differences. (III) If this attempt also fails, then the husband or the wife may seek a divorce. (IV) In case divorce is served, a reconciliation time of three months is available (except if the parties have divorced each other for the third time). The two parties can reconsider their views and reunite in this waiting time. (V) However, if the above time limit expires and no reconciliation occurs, then the divorce becomes effective and marriage is terminated.

A Muslim is permitted to have recourse to divorce, provided there is ample justification for such an extreme measure. Islam does not believe in unlimited opportunities for divorce on trivial reasons. To curtail reckless use without reason, a tradition of the holy Prophet says that among all permitted things, God dislikes divorce the most. God has condemned the Muslims who use their legal rights of divorce except on legitimate grounds and in unbearable condition. In the absence of a genuine reason, no Muslim can justify a divorce in the eyes of either religion or law.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Nameless Faceless said...

Kathi...sadly it doesnt work the other way round which is why it is the women folks who are always at the receiving end.
Hopefully things are changing and such things actually do not happen as often as it used to in ancient times. of course, women are still a subjugated lot in such societies in spite of all the loud cries for equality, justice etc...

7:01 AM  
Blogger Bill Jones, Jr said...

Whether by tradition, customary law or other dictum - never underestimate the power of stupidity.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

That sucks but it funny as hell. LOL!!!!!!!

8:09 AM  

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