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MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT

I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Sunday, December 18, 2005

How Do You Know?

Sometimes life is very painful. Hurtful things are said that can never be taken back. It confuses me how some people believe that they are the Almighty and that their thoughts and feelings are the only ones truly valid. It's sad how not only can few people say they are sorry, but even fewer realize that they should be sorry. Life is a gift, not a guarantee. It's to be lived, not feared, not put off to when there is more time, more money, more anything. It's to be lived, to love, to laugh and to give thanks.
I wonder why it is that many people find happiness easier to embrace when they have fewer things to be grateful for? I remember one year, soon after Mark and I were married, that we went to visit his parents in west Texas in the middle of winter, in a car that had to have the windows rolled down to keep the windshield from fogging up. We froze the entire way there, stopping for coffee to help keep us warm, it was a 6 hour trip. We laughed and enjoyed ourselves every frozen mile of the way. Another trip to Indiana, 14 hours in the same car, we had to stop every few miles to put in more oil. Our not making it all the way there was a distinct possibility and it is one of our best memories...all smiles and laughter.
I miss those good times, I miss the laughter.
The loneliness you feel when you are all alone is nothing compared to the loneliness that can suffocate you in a crowd, or in the silence of two.

29 Comments:

Blogger Grace said...

Brrr, I got chills down my spine just from reading that car story. You're so right about appreciation coming easier to us when we have less. It's a mystery of human nature. We're crazy, what can I say?!

12:13 AM  
Blogger devilgyrl said...

I couldn't have said it better myself

12:51 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

I can't really speak to the silence of two, but I know about being both lonely and alone, whether by myself or in a crowd.

*big guammie bear hugs*

1:46 AM  
Blogger Casually Me said...

Beautifully written.

9:07 AM  
Blogger HizzleThizzle said...

I think this way too, some of my earlier moments in our marriage still make me smile and tear up and sometimes I think in the race to be more and have more we leave parts of ourself behind.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Kellie said...

wow- what a great post. And so true.

(note: I am back and so is J!!)

10:26 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

grace ~ loneliness is probably one of the toughest parts of our lives to deal with. I believe it's why God created us as half of a whole, we weren't made to live alone. And when it's forced upon us, especially by those we love, it's the most painful thing in the world. I've dealt with poverty, I've dealt with homelesness, I've dealt with physical major surgery kind of pain...nothing compares to the the pain felt in one's soul.

devilgyrl ~ hon, I honestly believe you do understand. I've been to your blog. My neighbor gave me a cross made out of Bloodwood, a Brazilian hardwood for Christmas a few days ago. It's the size of my palm and I've kept it there, rubbing it, knowing it's there and what it represents. That sometimes, when I don't feel loved, that I KNOW I am loved.

dzer ~ you are one of the sweetest guys I know. I love you with all my heart.

casually me ~ hon, you know the feeling of being 'one'. What I read on your blog today touched me in a way that I can't begin to put into words. You are an amazingly strong man and you have all my respect.

my sweet hizzle ~ I love you so much. You know I do. They say so often that money is what breaks up most couples. It's not the lack of, it's the emphasis put on the excess.

10:31 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

kellie ~ HON!!! I'm so glad you're BOTH back. I'd say 'hugs', like I usually do...but I'm sure you're getting plenty from J. MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLIN!!

10:44 AM  
Blogger chele said...

It's easy to be happy when you have little because you tend to focus on what is important, i.e. family, friends, shelter -- the basic things. They mean so much, yet when we get a little more comfortable we tend to take those simple things for granted and lose sight of what is important in life.

Hope your holiday is happy.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Bhakti said...

Beautiful post. I think it is absolutely true that people who have less (some of them) seem to be happier than those that have a lot. I think it is because people who have a lot think they are happy because of all they have, when in reality, we all possess that which has the ability to make us happy: the heart.

Happy Holidays!
Bhakti

2:59 PM  
Blogger Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

There is no progress with out struggle.
There is no value with out strife.
No love with out loss.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Kathi,

I had lot of time to reflect on this same topic while I was on vacation.

"one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do, two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one"

9:05 PM  
Blogger Wes said...

Goodness hun, you were scarin' me there for a bit.

Well said, and if you ever need a laugh, I'll certainly try for ya :)

9:15 PM  
Blogger Stacy-Deanne said...

Kathi, GO BACK TO MY BLOG and read my response on my latest post!

9:39 PM  
Blogger KyuBall said...

Great observation!

This reminds me of a great movie quote:

"No matter where you go, there you are."

Silly, I know, but I can really see the logic of it. Situations are what you make them to be.

Thanks for the Christmas wishes, by the way...and right back at you and the family!

11:00 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Kathi---this post was so beautiful. Yes- you can definitely be lonely, yet be coupled up with someone--as well as be in a crowd. It's almost frightening when you think about it.

The car story was beautiful- and you know, it's all about 'enjoying where you are'----'enjoying the journey' in life.

I needed to read this post to remind me to start enjoying life.

Thanks Kathi! I love you girl!!!!! You have such a great outlook on life.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

"The loneliness you feel when you are all alone is nothing compared to the loneliness that can suffocate you in a crowd, or in the silence of two." Boy don't I know.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Memphis Steve said...

I don't know what happened to Mark, but I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely. Christmas is an especially tough time to be alone. I wasn't cut out for it, I know that for sure, but I also know it could happen to me. I sure hope you feel better by the time you read this. Maybe I should call and sing "Roxanne" to you? On second thought, that would be mean. I'm a horrible singer.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I'm not sure what's going on with you - but this post too has really struck a chord with me. I've been trying to deal with some family issues - and truly - what they boil down to is being grateful for our blessings AND knowing when to say you're sorry -- and mean it. I hope you don't mind if I print this post and send it to someone I know very well. Thank you.

5:58 PM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Sweet, Kathi. I just wanted to stop by and wish you a virtual Merry Christmas!

I read this post the other day and I thought I had posted something on it. Strange. I hope blogger is not eating posts again. It heard me and gave me an easy word verification (flrrz).

You are so right about life being a gift! Sort of makes you want to wake up, have a wonderful breakfast and greet everybody with a warm smile, a tender word.

I just hope I did not say anything bad to you. Hmmmmmm. You mean you did not like my virtual Christmas gift, sweetie?

9:27 AM  
Anonymous blackops said...

hmmmmmm

7:01 AM  
Blogger Deep Thoughts? said...

Wow this site you have created really honestly inspires me your way of thikin is true and real and i love that good work
Deep_Thoughts?

11:08 PM  
Blogger joey♥ said...

great post :)

12:32 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Merry Christmas!!

8:03 AM  
Blogger bbsgirl said...

this is a very thoughtful post. Hope things are going okay for you.


Merry Christmas and if you have time..stop by here and make a snowflake.... http://snowflakes.lookandfeel.com/

8:53 AM  
Blogger Casually Me said...

Beauty and Brains, sometimes God was not fair when he passed out such things. You were blessed.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Clay said...

very good post - hope you are having a good holiday!

12:51 PM  
Blogger HizzleThizzle said...

Merry Christmas Kathi! I love you.

7:12 AM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

Happy Holidays!!

8:40 AM  

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