Giving Words Flight
Here's the thing, this is my blog. It's where I can write and express my feelings. Trust me, I'm NOT expressing all of them, not by a long shot.
Mark told me today that I am hurting the feelings of some of his family by what I'm writing, and that he is losing respect for me. How possibly rich is that? I've been very kind, I believe, in what I've written. I believe I've shown great restraint in what I've written compared to how badly my feelings have been hurt, and the pain and hurt feelings I've watched my children go through. I, alone, have watched their pain, hurt, confusion and disappointment every single day...no one else, and I'm living through my own, as well. How unbelievably selfish can someone possibly be to believe that they're the ones who have been so terribly wronged by my finding a way of expressing myself, considering what my life has gone through the past two months. I've continued to love and pray for every single person that has hurt us. I've not turned my back on anyone, but after much prayer I came to the understanding that we needed to keep all avoidable negativity away from our lives...our hearts. We have enough to handle right now.
Do I have some underlying hostility? Well, hmmmmmmm, there is a good chance of that. So, with that said, I have but one suggestion...if my blog offends, don't read it.
Mark told me today that I am hurting the feelings of some of his family by what I'm writing, and that he is losing respect for me. How possibly rich is that? I've been very kind, I believe, in what I've written. I believe I've shown great restraint in what I've written compared to how badly my feelings have been hurt, and the pain and hurt feelings I've watched my children go through. I, alone, have watched their pain, hurt, confusion and disappointment every single day...no one else, and I'm living through my own, as well. How unbelievably selfish can someone possibly be to believe that they're the ones who have been so terribly wronged by my finding a way of expressing myself, considering what my life has gone through the past two months. I've continued to love and pray for every single person that has hurt us. I've not turned my back on anyone, but after much prayer I came to the understanding that we needed to keep all avoidable negativity away from our lives...our hearts. We have enough to handle right now.
Do I have some underlying hostility? Well, hmmmmmmm, there is a good chance of that. So, with that said, I have but one suggestion...if my blog offends, don't read it.
posted by kathi | 4:31 PM
28 Comments:
I am going to restrain myself out of respect to you and your children. Really I am.
Kathi....I don't know you. Not really. Not outside of a few telephone conversations and what I read on your blog, but those are such miniscule pieces of an entire person. I couldn't begin to say what went wrong in your marriage or who was right or wrong. Of course, since YOU are my friend, I lean towards your side, but I know enough about life and relationships to know there are usually three sides to every break-up. Her side, his side and the truth.
That being said.
How dare they. As you said...this is YOUR blog. You should be able to write anything you want to on it without worrying yourself over what other people think. If it had been anyone else (ME lol) there would have been sparks flying off computer screens everywhere. And those would have only been about HOW he left, not WHY he left.
I have said it before, and I'll say it again, you have show remarkable restraint and composure. Even if you have been horrid in RL(which I don't believe for a minute) you have said NOTHING mean about Mark OR his family or friends on here. And if this site is their example of something you've done to "hurt" them, then that just goes to PROVE you've done little to nothing in real life.
Ok...I'm going to stop now because I'm walking on the very very very edge of respect and fixing to lose my balance and fall on over into wanting to....
Ok, shutting up now...
Well said Lisa. Mark appears to be transferring his guilt onto you, any tiny thing he has (Someone has blabbed about something you wrote on blog?) on you, he raises. I assume it makes him feel better ... well stuff him ! Do what makes you feel better ... Do what makes YOU happy. If that means writing a neg post about him, then so be it. Jeez, how badly does he need to grow up?!
You go Kathi!!! I don't understand why his family is reading your blog anyway. You have said in past posts that they are basically ignoring you at all costs, so are they making themselves feel better by reading your blog to see if you are OK? Well you have been nothing but respectful to Mark and his family and I agree that if what you have written offends them, then they need to stop reading.
lisa ~ more than your comment, I appreciate the phone conversation. I simply love you.
joie ~ YOU are the one that led Anne to want to live out her hot doc fantasy, lol, right? And...probably led to the demise of Smith. Thanks for your comment, sometimes y'alls comments say things that I just can't let myself say, and I appreciate it. :)
michelle ~ I really appreciate how you commented that I've been respectful, because though I believe I have, it's nice to know that I'm not just thinking so because I'm only seeing my side. Thank you.
amanda ~ lol, I'd never tell him that...now thinking it, that's different, yes? You're so funny darlin'.
You have been nothing but polite. You have not said anything remotely bad about him. Even when talking about the pain you feel, you have been upright. I am proud of the way you handled the situation. I really am.
GrrRrrr!! I cannot abide people who think the world revolves around THEM. That being said, I wanna tell all of them to suck your big toe after you step in dog doo!
I know, sick huh? But that's how they are!
Wow. Does he read the comments, too? Maybe he should, to gain another perspective.
You have been extremely RESPECTFUL of Mark on here. You have never said a word against him, except perhaps to criticize the way he left the burden of sharing the "news" on your youngest son. There's no positive way to spin his actions in that situation.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - You have handled your situation very gracefully. Seemingly so in real life, and clearly so on this blog.
There are so many nasty things you could choose to say about him, true or otherwise, but you don't. I'm sure part of that is out of respect for your sons, but I think your Christian faith has taught you that you wouldn't be hurting anyone but yourself by spewing venom about/toward him.
If he can't see how DECENT you have been on this blog considering the circumstances with which HE presented you...Then I guess he can stop reading, or continue to be offended.
epsilonicus ~ thanks for the confirmation, and the kind words.
dabich ~ lol, so...what do you really think? Thanks for the laugh, but ewwwwww on the thought of anyone sucking on my big toe. :)
3 carnations ~ darlin', well said.
I think Mark and especially Mark's family need to step back and take a breath. Wait for the dust to settle between the two of you and get on with their lives. Things were begining to get resolved and somewhat worked out between Mark and the boys. Is it perfect, no but things are moving in the right direction. I know how important you feel it is for the boys to have a relationship with their father. Is it going to be the same, no just different. But it can still be good. When Marks family upsets you the boys know right away. Not because you run to tell them what they said or did but because they can just tell your upset. When your upset the boys hold against Mark. The boys need to be able to trust Mark again. Mark is still a good father, he has some damage to repair but the relationship with his boys is worth every effort.
You have been way nicer than I would be. ((hug))
katy ~ exactly, thank you, my voice of reason.
kidd ~ a lot of effort, hugs right back at'cha.
xoxo :)*
Abi
OH NO HE DIDNT!
First of all...you have been totally nice to him on the blog. I dont think you have bad-mouthed him once. And I personally think that you are holding back on that and I hope that it gets out somewhere. You my favorite lady friend are a saint..and he has no room to talk. And his family has no business reading your blog and getting offended by it.
This just really hacks me off.
Wait a second. Im not done.
I cant believe he had the nerve to tell you that.
How great that must be...to disrespect his family like that and be able to tell you to not talk about it because it will embarass him??
He has embarassed himself.
And he cannot loose respect for you because of what he has done. And basically thats what this is.
You could have said so many things about him that you havent. He needs to be grateful that you arent like the majority of us women who would have ranted non-stop since it happened.
Okay. Thats all I should say. Im done now. :)
LOL, you GO ANNE!
What do I really think? I stand by my dog doo comment, kathi. If Mark would get his head out of his a** he'd see the insult is earned. You've been nothing but generous and restrained in this entire dilemna; can he say the same? NO!
I've been thru a divorce myself, and the out-laws...er....in-laws need to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS. Why are they even reading your blog? Get a life, People!
So, Kathi, darling, does that answer your question? =D
It's not disrespectful at all. Isn't he interested in seeing how you feel? Or does he not like the comments where people are supportive of you?
My prayers and thoughts are with you both!
xxoo
I never read your blog, I just look at the kitten pictures. You know my feelings on this subject. Marky mark needs an attitude adjustment, sorry but he just does.
abi ~ xoxo you too. :)
anne ~ hon, would you mind going into law? I think I'd really feel good having you on my side in the court room. I agree with you 100%, thanks, again, for saying what I can't.
kidd ~ she's spunky, huh? lol.
dabich ~ I was only teasing when I asked what you really thought, I already knew...but I'm sure glad you came back and spelled it out for me. Ditto what I said to Anne, I appreciate some y'all giving voice to my feelings.
deb ~ I don't know...I'm guessing he cares more what others are thinking than what I think...or we wouldn't be where we are. I love you, and thanks for the prayers.
tom ~ I'm sincerely doubtful you're sorry for what you said. I know you, and often you're my hero.
I don't know what to say except....
Sorry this is all happening to you!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs!
samuru999 ~ s'okay, I can handle it, God's got pretty broad shoulders. :)
"deb ~ I don't know...I'm guessing he cares more what others are thinking than what I think"
He is sooooo much like my ex....worried only about what OTHERS think....cuz he's a stinker and he doesn't want the world to know!
I think that in a way he/they feel guilty about how they are behaving. They are ashamed, possibly, and don't want their poor behavior being read by those who care about you...those who care about how you are doing and feeling. It is not your fault for the way they have handled the situations. You have every right to express yourself in any way you like. Like you said before...if it ofends anyone, DON'T READ IT! Keep your head up Kathi, we all love you!
dabich ~ yeah, probably.
nikki ~ I know it's probably hard for you and abi to read this stuff cause you know and love Mark too. Thanks for your support though, love you so much.
And you said you couldn't do anything with one of my STFU t-shirts. Looks to me like you could used it the day Mark opened his mouth to spew out this crap.
Are these the same people that don't want have anything to do with you? If so, why are they so concerned about what you're saying on YOUR blog?
Reality check you supposed offended parties it's Kathi's blog and she is more than entitled to say whatever she chooses. If you're so hurt by Kathi's words/thoughts do yourself a favor and stop reading this blog.
shawn ~ yeah, I know...but I still couldn't do one of the STFU t's, just not me. I want some of the COOL ones though, just more our style.
Thanks for holding up for me, my knight on a white horse, lol. I appreciate you.
As long as it's rooted in compassion it doesn't matter what people think, it inly matters what you believe...best wishes
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