Always There Doesn't Mean Every Second...

I recently got angry with a friend of mine. That may not sound like a big deal, but for me it's huge. For one reason, I don't really have that many friends. Hard to imagine, huh? LOL, hush. For another reason, I have a very bad temper, and though it's pretty much controlled by medication (thank you modern science), it can still occasionally rear it's ugly head.

So, back to this friend of mine that totally ticked me off. For two days I was mad, and a few other emotions, but anger was the most dominant. This friend of mine has nearly became like a security blanket of sorts to me through all the ups and downs that this life of mine has been going through lately.

My life has been an episode of things newly discovered each and every day. It's gotten to the point that nothing really surprises me lately. All the things left undiscovered, just leave me wondering but not fearing anymore. I'm learning I'm stronger than I ever dreamed I could be. I've learned that I'm not capable of hating, that forgiveness is a choice but that forgetting will simply never happen.

It's no secret that I've been going through a lot of changes, and naturally those changes include my children, and there are a lot of raw emotions in this house of mine. But through it all, not only have the three of us (my boys and myself) drawn more close to each other than I'd ever imagined possible, but we've drawn closer to friends. Friends who've asked nothing from us but for us to let them be there for us. I actually think that letting friends get closer has been as hard for my kids as it has been for me, because we're all a little private.

Okay, so what does this have to do with the beginning of this post, the little story about my being angry with a friend of mine? This friend is a new friend, and one that I've found very easy to open up to. Now, I've made a couple of new friends since my family got gutted, for lack of a better word, and I actually sort of like that word, come to think about it, it's pretty accurate. One of these friends is a smart mouthed, sarcastic person that often says what I'm thinking and wish I could say if I wasn't....well...me.

The other friend is my stability, my voice of reason and is simply a great shoulder to lean on. What this friend recently taught me, was that regardless of the changes I have going on in my life right now, the world (mine, theirs...anyones) does not revolve around me. Actually, the way they put it was "not everything revolves around Texas", but I'm pretty sure they were talking about me. :) It was selfish of me to not consider there were things, besides me, going on in their life. And to this friend, I apologize. Truly, I am sorry. Thanks for listening to me rant and yell at you and not hanging up on me. Thanks for still having the guts to hang on to our friendship. Just to let you know, in case you don't know it already, I treasure you.