Do We Care?
I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just asking. How hard is it for people to be happy for others? Unless it's just me, which granted, it could be, but unless it's just me it seems that people are so much more willing and eager to jump on a bandwagon that accuses, insults or makes fun of someone rather than one that encourages, praises and lifts someone up. I don't understand this. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on toes, but why is it so much easier to insult or find fault than to praise or encourage someone? Are we so selfish and self centered, so calloused, so preoccupied with our own lives that the pain or joy of others doesn't register on our personal radar?
Sure, if we allow the pain of others to also cause us pain we open ourselves up to a whole new vulnerability. However, in fairness, if we choose to share in the joy of others, the thankfulness for others accomplishments, we will have an unlimited source of joy available to us. It honestly is a give and take...or nothing at all. I know too many people living in the 'nothing at all'. Do you? Walking, working, functioning and emotional zombies. Pull that scab of callousness off, open yourself up to feeling the pain of others suffering but also to the freedom of a soaring spirit when you share in the love, the joy and the blessings of others.
Sure, if we allow the pain of others to also cause us pain we open ourselves up to a whole new vulnerability. However, in fairness, if we choose to share in the joy of others, the thankfulness for others accomplishments, we will have an unlimited source of joy available to us. It honestly is a give and take...or nothing at all. I know too many people living in the 'nothing at all'. Do you? Walking, working, functioning and emotional zombies. Pull that scab of callousness off, open yourself up to feeling the pain of others suffering but also to the freedom of a soaring spirit when you share in the love, the joy and the blessings of others.
posted by kathi | 6:01 AM
11 Comments:
Great post. It's easy to be callous, it's hard to show you care and mean it. Life is not supposed to be about who gets the most. Some of the powerlifting meets I go to are bullshit. Most end up like this. You train all year round for an important meet. Your goal is to get PR's (personal records) and beat the next guy. By the time the meet rolls around, I have had guys helping me with a form issue, or with my gear that I was in direct competition with. You should root the next guy on, even if it means he beats you. People do this all the time, and I wish life was more like this. Your post has made me rethink the way I have treated a friend of mine lately, and I thank you.
cm ~ thank you for that, I appreciate it very much.
Awesome post kathi!!
As you know....My smartassery usually rears it's head under most circumstances but I've never understood people who seem to take joy in other people's misfortune or pain.
You made me pause and think today.....(that's the smoke you smell, btw)
Hmmm...I think there is a fine line to honesty and bullshitting someone if it boils down to critiquing anything, like art, photography, music ---something of that nature should be critiqued "with honesty"...But say if your hubby gets a really bad haircut. Ah hell, tell him it looks cute. Hair grows back, ya know? I'm bluntly honest so I blurt out a lot of things that may put people off a tad---but 'that's just me'. ;)
So wha happened here? (hehe) Did you encounter something or someone in your life who is not being nice or not giving enough 'white lies'?
Kathi you hit the nail on the head. Like what happened to me last week remember? Ahhh...but who cares about people like that right? I feel sorry for those who place their failures and pain on others instead of being happy for them. I'm not like that so I can't understand it. It's just like when kids pick on other kids (I was picked on a lot in elem and junior high). It shows they are really unhappy with themselves so they have to pick on others to make them feel good. The whole thing is pathetic. But we give them power when we worry twice about these types of people so from now on I won't.
It does seem that we, as a nation, love to root for the underdog, then when they rise to be number 1, we want them to fall. I think it's similar to when you can look at your spouse or another friend and find all of their faults or shortcomings but it's so hard to look at ourselves and find areas we could change.
There are a few blogs that I used to visit that became such petty/hate filled sites that I won't visit them anymore. I have no use for them.
I love to share in someone else's happiness. I am genuinely happy for someone when they share good news with me. However, I do not allow someone else's pain to cause me pain. Maybe that makes me callous ... in that instance I am too caught up in my own problems. I allow the other person to vent and express themselves but I don't walk away feeling just as bad as they do. Does that make sense?
mike ~ thanks guy...and I'll put away the extinguisher.
deb ~ I don't know what you're thinking about...we're not on the same wave length, how often does that happen? I'm talking about how people enjoy or don't care about others pain and don't care...or are jealous of their joys or blessings.
Nope, no one has done anything to wrong me babe.
stacy d ~ yup, true enough my friend.
phil ~ exactly.
chele ~ You don't feel good about their pain, or use it to make yourself better...so nope, it doesn't.
Ohhhh.... No...... Enjoying someone else's misfortune is awful... I thought for some reason you were referring to criticism in a positive or negative outlook. But, no, I do agree that it's not healthy or fair to enjoy other people's pain. You didn't exactly make the post quite clear on what you were referring to. It sounded as though you were referring to 'insults'---which can be taken as a critique.
So I'm clueless with this one. Sorry! :(
kathi: good post, and you're right on the money. when we hear about a group of people winning a giant lottery jackpot, most of don't say, "good for them!" ... we say "those lucky bastards" or words to that effect.
I don't know if it's part of the human condition to want to tear others down or not wish them well, but it happens far too often in far too many cultures.
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