Sometimes we do get what we want.
The other day I mentioned a post from a fellow blogger that I wanted to write about. It's from Humanity Critic's blog and he had written about what attributes a woman would have to have to be his wife, a life mate. It got me thinking about how those attributes change from when we're young and dating to older and...still dating, to married. So...hope it's okay with you James, here are how mine changed.
When I was young...like probably 90% of young girls...I was attracted to the 'bad boys'. I had so many nice guys around and I wonder how it made them feel to see me pass them by and show my interest in the guys they tried so hard not to be like. My first kiss was behind the library with a boy named Johnny that had just got out of juvie. Of course, I thought I was in love and that he was just misunderstood. I couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't give him a chance. Being a parent now, and if I had a 13 year old girl...the last boy in the world I'd let her spend time with would be a 'Johnny'.
The next 10 years were pretty much divided between the 'good guys' with a goal in mind and the 'bad boys' with the next 2 hours in mind. When I reflect, even my 'good guys' had some real streaks of 'bad boy' in them. You know that saying about how men like a woman to be "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets"? Well, I don't know any women who don't want the same thing... There may be some women that want a wuss in the bedroom, but I've never met one, and I've never been one. But, around this age it did become more important to me that a man's mind was as good as his body. Probably in college I started to notice that I needed more than sex to stimulate me, I needed conversation. I started to become attracted to intelligence, humor and good sarcasm (which is actually the love child of intelligence and humor). By the time I met my husband, I recognized what I needed as well as wanted in a man. Actually, I may have not honestly recognized it until I met him. Maybe no one had the exact combination of all the characteristics that attracted me, intrigued me and stimulated me until I met him. But I can tell you, with him in mind, what brought me around from a date-a-night to commitment.
Intelligence, can talk to practically anyone about anything. Humor, can laugh at himself and at others, without ever being offensive. Kindness, never putting a limit on what he would do for others if they're in need...be it person or animal. Athletic, though I'm not into a lot of sports, I appreciate it that he can play any kind of ball with my boys, that he understands and can patiently explain to me (over and over and over) the rules of any game we're watching and...has great stamina. Fairness, this is a must and probably one of the most important things to me. I don't believe in cheating anyone of anything and I don't believe that anyone is born any more important than anyone else, (although ones actions can definitely raise or lessen their importance in the scheme of things). And Faith. Though I was raised atheist (agnostic at best) and stayed that way firmly till my 20's, I have a strong faith in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit now. Thankfully, because I'll tell you a secret...I was a mess with nothing to believe in but myself, and I can't honestly ever recall even believing in myself all that much. Being able to share faith with my family is our foundation.
So, there you have it. The attributes I'd have to have in a man to spend my life with...and coincidently...the ones the man I'm spending my life with has.
When I was young...like probably 90% of young girls...I was attracted to the 'bad boys'. I had so many nice guys around and I wonder how it made them feel to see me pass them by and show my interest in the guys they tried so hard not to be like. My first kiss was behind the library with a boy named Johnny that had just got out of juvie. Of course, I thought I was in love and that he was just misunderstood. I couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't give him a chance. Being a parent now, and if I had a 13 year old girl...the last boy in the world I'd let her spend time with would be a 'Johnny'.
The next 10 years were pretty much divided between the 'good guys' with a goal in mind and the 'bad boys' with the next 2 hours in mind. When I reflect, even my 'good guys' had some real streaks of 'bad boy' in them. You know that saying about how men like a woman to be "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets"? Well, I don't know any women who don't want the same thing... There may be some women that want a wuss in the bedroom, but I've never met one, and I've never been one. But, around this age it did become more important to me that a man's mind was as good as his body. Probably in college I started to notice that I needed more than sex to stimulate me, I needed conversation. I started to become attracted to intelligence, humor and good sarcasm (which is actually the love child of intelligence and humor). By the time I met my husband, I recognized what I needed as well as wanted in a man. Actually, I may have not honestly recognized it until I met him. Maybe no one had the exact combination of all the characteristics that attracted me, intrigued me and stimulated me until I met him. But I can tell you, with him in mind, what brought me around from a date-a-night to commitment.
Intelligence, can talk to practically anyone about anything. Humor, can laugh at himself and at others, without ever being offensive. Kindness, never putting a limit on what he would do for others if they're in need...be it person or animal. Athletic, though I'm not into a lot of sports, I appreciate it that he can play any kind of ball with my boys, that he understands and can patiently explain to me (over and over and over) the rules of any game we're watching and...has great stamina. Fairness, this is a must and probably one of the most important things to me. I don't believe in cheating anyone of anything and I don't believe that anyone is born any more important than anyone else, (although ones actions can definitely raise or lessen their importance in the scheme of things). And Faith. Though I was raised atheist (agnostic at best) and stayed that way firmly till my 20's, I have a strong faith in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit now. Thankfully, because I'll tell you a secret...I was a mess with nothing to believe in but myself, and I can't honestly ever recall even believing in myself all that much. Being able to share faith with my family is our foundation.
So, there you have it. The attributes I'd have to have in a man to spend my life with...and coincidently...the ones the man I'm spending my life with has.
posted by kathi | 11:20 PM
1 Comments:
Enjoyed a lot!
» » »
Post a Comment
<< Home