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MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT

I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Making a difference

There is very little that we can go through that others haven't been through before us...or won't go through after us. That's hard to remember, or believe, when we are going through something ourselves.

Isolation makes hard times more difficult, even though it's often our first response. I'm extremely guilty of this. Because of the person I am, my first response is always to withdraw, to keep people from getting too close. Often when my friends will ask me what is new...what's going on in my life, my first instinct is to change the subject. They'll often call me on it, but if I don't want to talk about something, I don't. And usually I don't.

Casey is like this too.

This last year has been very hard on him. He's hurt. I see it, I understand it. Though I've gone through it right beside him, it's completely different for me than it is for him. I have no idea what it must feel like to have a father, who was one of your best friends, walk out without ever saying goodbye. So, though we've gone through this together, and have drawn strength from each other, I don't know how it feels to be a child abandoned. A wife...yeah, got that one down pat. But I've not been through what Casey's been through. He doesn't talk about it at church, he doesn't talk about it with his friends...or his brother. He doesn't talk about it at all.

Casey got some amazing graduation cards, all of them he'll treasure. One, though, touched him above all others. I tried to scan it onto my computer, but apparently my computer and printer are not playing nicely with each other as yet, so I'll type it out and hope that I do it justice.

Dear Casey,

I know that you don't know me or my family, but I feel that I have gotten to know you through your Mom's writings. I experienced something very similar to what you are going through with your Dad during my High School years, so I can relate to what you must be feeling. The Lord placed some incredible people in my life during that time and I pray that He does the same for you.

From what I can tell, you are an exceptional young man, and I have told your Mom before that I hope my boys have the kind of character you have when they get older. You have taken such good care of your Mom this year and, as her friend, I thank you for that.

She couldn't be more proud of you, and our family feels the same. I pray that you allow the Lord to guide your steps during the years ahead and He will bless you beyond your dreams.

Love, The Tapp Family

This was the very first card Casey received, and when he opened it, he was overwhelmed that someone he'd never met cared about him or his graduating. He read it to himself, and then asked if he could read it to Charlie and I. I got a little teary eyed and Charlie put his arm around me as Casey read it. It was one of those special moments that I'll always remember about my oldest son graduating, but what happened later engraved itself upon my heart. Later that night I went to talk to Casey, and I opened the door at the bottom of his stairs that leads to his room. There he sat, in the middle of his stairs, reading the Tapp's card. He looked up at me, and when our eyes met...well, there was a long moment of understanding. Understanding that someone else knows how he feels, understanding that someone else cares and understanding that even though we may sometimes feel like it, we are not alone.

Charlie told me that he heard Casey talking about how he feels about his dad leaving to the youth pastor a couple of days later. As far as we know, and believe, it's the first time he's opened up to someone. Michelle's card touched Casey in a way that he needed desperately.

I am so thankful for this sweet woman's heart, and for the way God used her to tell a young man she'd never met that he is not alone, that others have gone through what he is going through, and they understand.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Need some info...

My old computer has been retired and replaced. I've lost all email addy's, so please drop me a line and let me rebuild my contacts.
Thanks!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Graduation

This is about 2/3's of Casey's graduating class.


















There were nearly 1,200 kids that started a whole new chapter to their lives this past Thursday at The University of North Texas. The stadium was packed with proud parents, relatives and friends; with their camera's flashing, banners waving and the occasional beach ball being tossed onto the floor of graduating high school seniors ready to party. It was wonderful.

Lasting a little over two hours, it moved pretty fast for me. There was the occasional student who mangaged to say something into the mic, one girl managed a cartwheel on stage in heels and her gown without losing her hat and, of course, lot's of cheering!


On our way up to Denton, home of UNT and where Casey will be attending this fall, Charlie sat in the backseat playing his guitar and wearing Casey's cap. Always our entertainer.



















Once there, we checked into the Raddisson during a pouring thunderstorm. I let the boys off under the overhang to get us checked in so they could take in Casey's gown and our luggage without getting wet. By the time I got into the hotel, I was soaked. We cleaned up in our room, played around with the sleep number beds, and got ready to meet Nikki for dinner.

We had dinner at El Guapos, and I loved the Voodoo Shrimp. First time I've had something spicy enough that I didn't have to add anything extra to it. Nikki walked in looking like a million bucks. For any of you that haven't seen pictures of Nikki on here before, you'll have to take my word for it because for some stupid reason, I didn't take any pictures before or after graduation.


We were running a tad late, so Casey changed into his dress clothes (dress code requirement) in the restaurant's bathroom. When the check came, Nikki insisted on getting it. She's a stubborn little snot. Charlie must have brought it up a dozen times in the last couple of days how he couldn't get over that not only did she come to Casey's graduation (otherwise it'd just been the two of us), and the generous gift she gave Casey, but she also bought us dinner. She's been a beautiful example to the boys of what love and commitment is.



At the graduation, we sat on the side where Casey told us he'd be sitting. However, he didn't tell us that he'd be walking away from us to get his diploma, so Nikki ran over to the other side of the colliseum and got herself situated to get these pictures for us:





Being as our last name is in the B's, we had quite the sit ahead of us, but it went pretty quickly. You put 1,200 teen's together and you're going to be entertained.


After the last student walked the stage, there was the turning of the tassle and then the tossing of the hat's.

It was a great night. The only down side was when it was over and the school's principal announced to the parents that they could find their students outside of the building. A stadium full of parents looking for their child among 1,200 kids all dressed alike outside in the dark at 11:00 p.m. After awhile, we found each other and headed back to the hotel. We found it impossible to unwind so we headed out for some dessert.

I finally made it to bed, tucked away at a 34 on my sleep number bed and slept wonderfully. Happy, proud and ever so blessed, I slept.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Having computer problems, and can only manage to stay on for a few minutes at a time before it crashes. Have had it worked on for the last couple of days, and they thought it was fixed. They were wrong. :)

So, I'll make my way to visit y'all as time permits (the computer's time, not mine).

AI wasn't as good as I'd hoped tonight. Jordin should take it all.

And, do any of you watch The Riches? If you haven't, get the season on dvd when it comes out. You won't be sorry. It's addictive. Love Eddie Izzard, he's great in this show.

Casey's graduation is Thursday. Pass the tissues, please. :)

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Tagged - Top Five Favorite Places To Eat

The rules:
1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Lynda (Indiana, USA)
Jennifer (Texas, USA)
Carly (Vancouver, Canada)
Vegas Princess (Nevada, USA)
Anne (Texas, USA)
Kathi (Texas, USA)

2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location:

1. Pappadeaux ~ my all time favorite restaurant. Shrimp Creole or the Pepper Shrimp with Bread Pudding with bourbon sauce for dessert. Mmmmmm, baby, doesn't get any better. The atmosphere is down home fun, nothing uptight or fancy. Though it may be a bit pricey, it's still my number one.

2. Pappasito's ~ yup, it's a member of the 'Pappa's', and the only reason it isn't my favorite is because it doesn't have as much seafood, but you can't beat it for TexMex. Same atmosphere, same sort of prices, but never ever had a bad meal there. The Riviera or the Seafood Enchilada's are the best!

3. Abuelo's ~ the Enchilada's de Cozumel are so good. Abuelo's isn't as casual as the 'Papa's', but it's excellent food.

4. Joe's Crab Shack ~ Jalapeno Crab Balls with Coconut Shrimp or the Crab Stuffed Shrimp. Yumm.

5. Pei Wei ~ Mandarin Kung Pao Shrimp (triple spicy) with Mandarin Orange Tea. Perfect.

I'm going to add a #6, just for dessert. :)

6. Ruby Tuesday ~ Chocolate Tallcake, which is...Layered chocolate cake, chocolate mousse and OREO cookies topped with caramel and chocolate sauces, vanilla Blue Bell ice cream and whipped cream. My most favorite dessert ever!

Now I'm starving. I don't like to tag, but if you do this, please let me know (you might want to do it on a full stomach).

Friday, May 18, 2007

A Blonde Joke

Don't go gettin' your panties in a wad, I'm as blonde as they come...well, as blonde as it comes in a bottle. :)

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, You Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times. "

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

And then there were two...

America voted Melinda Doolittle off of American Idol tonight. I was surprised. She, I believed, had the best voice and the most talent. However, as I've said before here, she simply wasn't as marketable as Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks. Apparently America agreed. I've had one or two of Blakes videos on here before, but I'm going to post my favorite performances from each of them. If you've not been watching American Idol, these videos will let you know why they've made it to the top two.
Enjoy.

Blake




Jordin

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Rinse...when?

So...Charlie decided to get his hair cut. Short.

Well...he decided to cut it after several sections of his hair broke off above his ears. Yup, broke off.

Let me make it clear that this was not in any way my fault.

Lord, how I wish that were true.

Apparently, I misread the directions when I applied a straightener to his hair.

It's the second time he's asked me to do this for him. The first time was sometime last year; it went great and he loved his hair. I, personally, like his hair better wavy, but I do remember being a teen and hating my wavy hair, so I'm glad to do it for him. Until this time...neither of us are glad that I did it this time.

Back to my 'apparently'. Apparently you are suppose to rinse after putting the straightener on before adding something called the neutralizer. Yeah, well...I missed that rinsing part when I read it. So, he never rinsed the straightener out before I put on the neutralizer (on top of the straightener), leaving the straightener on his hair for about twice as long as it should have been in for. His hair was fried immediately and we have spent the last two days conditioning it with everything on the market. That didn't work. This morning I told him that his hair looked like it was matted and to run a brush through it. It wasn't matted, it was broken off in several areas. It wasn't easy getting him to go to school today. :)

Through all of this, Charlie has never held it against me that I'd made such a big mistake. When I first told him about my not having read the instructions correctly, he said "Don't worry about it, Mom", and he's never brought it up again. I've apologized several times, and he keeps telling me not to worry about it. What a kid.

So, in memory of my long haired Charlie, I give you the last picture I'd taken before the 'accident'.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day Recap

I had a wonderful Mom's day. The boys made me banana pancakes with strawberries on top for breakfast. It was really sweet because they'd gone to the store earlier in the week and got the makings for them and hid the ingredients so I wouldn't know. I didn't have a clue. These were possibly the best pancakes I've ever had, they melted in your mouth...excellent!

Then they gave me my card. I love cards nearly as much as presents because of what people write on the inside, especially my kids. The card was pretty funny by itself, but Charlie wrote in it; Happy Baby's Mama's Day! From the main playa, Charlie (p.s. LOVE U :) )
Casey wrote; I love you and you make me proud to be your son, Casey B.
Yeah, I cried. Oh, hush!

Then they gave me a beautiful red bag with this inside:



The chain is gorgeous and 24 inches long, I love it!!
After church we drove to McKinney and had lunch at one of my favorite places. It's a little soda shop, true to the 50's ~ 60's style, and it has fried pickles! Charlie and I love fried pickles. We ate, we laughed and we had a great time. All day long they made sure I didn't lift a finger. All day long I thanked God that I am their mother.
I know that I've never had a better Mother's Day. They had everything planned and did it all themselves. Spent their own money they'd saved and gave me more attention than I deserve...but I sure loved every minute of it. :)
They give me so much to be proud of. I am more than blessed, I'm thankful.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Mother's Day Comedy

Borrowed this from Rosemarie. Hope it gives you as many laughs as it did me. Having two sons, it was very realistic to me. Enjoy!


Brief

Short on time, and fortunately short on words. :)
I've been subbing all week, which I'm extremely grateful for. The first five classes of each day I have angels, that doesn't happen often. I mean the sort of classes where I can excuse myself to the restroom and not have to worry about anyone escaping while I'm gone. The last two classes each day have been the luck of the draw, and the last 3 days haven't been so lucky. Oh well.

I started feeling a tad sick on Wednesday, and yesterday I had to be sent home from school, lol. But I'm feeling better this morning and I'm going to try to make it the whole day.

If I'm not back on for the weekend, Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful Mom buddies. I learn from y'all and appreciate y'all very much. Enjoy your day!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ten Things About Me (tagged!)

Rosemarie tagged me. The tag is to tell 10 interesting or surprising things about myself. As boring as I am, I'm already stuck on #1.


1. I wear a size 9 shoe. Yeah, big *but pretty* feet.

2. I've never had a manicure or a pedicure.

3. I was an atheist until I was 26 years old.

4. I bought my first bra when I was 28 years old.

5. I'm a recovering drug addict (24 years clean!) and alcoholic (several years clean).

6. I have a sister (14 months younger than I am) that I've not had any contact with for five years.

7. I type 65 wpm.

8. I'm a speed reader.

9. I pray in tongues.

10. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13 years old.

Okay, I know none of those were interesting or surprising, but it was the best I could do!!
Thanks for reading, enjoy your day.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I Remember Him

Years ago I fell hard for a man. He may have been the love of my life, I don't know. My life isn't over, so who's to say? But when this man came into my life, everything about my world changed.
I remember being afraid at first. I was in awe because everything about him touched some part of me. I'd not felt that before, and I'll readily admit I was afraid. I wasn't the sort of girl in high school that fell in and out of love. I wasn't that sort of girl in college. I can count the number of men I've said 'I love you' to on one hand and still not use all five fingers. Love was a commitment I wasn't willing to make most of my life.
I remember telling him once that I was afraid of falling in love. He told me to go ahead and fall, that he'd catch me. He was true to his word.
Every single thing about this man made me happy. I loved his humor, his laugh could melt my heart and, I kid you not, merely thinking about him once made my knees go so weak that I had to lean against a wall to keep from falling.
I knew passion with this man. I realized I'd not known it before him, and I don't think I've known it since him...not that kind of raw, freedom to express anything and everything, mental, emotional and physical, sort of passion.
Because of life's circumstances, this man and I went our different ways, but there were never any hard feelings. We remained friends for a long time. So much history, so many emotions, so many memories. Still.
I wonder if I'll ever, again, have the sort of feelings I had for this man so long ago. I wonder if I've hardened my heart so much over this last year, if it's even possible for me to let someone get that close to me. Will I have that same fear of letting myself fall so completely...and if I over come that fear, will someone catch me again? Does that kind of passion happen more than once in a life time? Is it worth the risk to find out?
For many years I've kept his memory at a safe distance. Now, sometimes in those moments late at night, right before sleep comes, I remember him.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Two Days After The Storm

With the help of a couple of friends, a couple of neighbors and a lot of hard, sweaty work, it's all cleaned up! I do still have some broken limbs hanging down onto my roof in the back, but the yards are all cleaned up! I appreciated everyone so much. Casey and Charlie especially appreciated the chainsaws a friend brought with him, they'd been doing it with a small hand saw for a few hours. We're all sore today, but what a difference a day, friends and a lot of hard work makes!





































The back yard is all cleaned up, too. Now it's up to the city to pick up what my friend couldn't fit into his truck. The city has it's hands full with debris, but we're a town blessed without anyone physically harmed. Many trees were pulled up by their roots, many houses lost their roofs and their fences, lots of cars damaged...but no people were physically hurt.
So, with some sore muscles, a couple of Aleve and a cup of coffee to go, I'm off to work. Enjoy your day.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Day After The Storm

We had a bit of a storm blow through last night. Winds up to 100 mph. Pretty cool to watch, not so much to clean up after, though.

















Part of this tree hit my car, giving it a couple of dents and a few scratches.
Some of it fell into my neighbors yard:






Some of it fell on my roof, some here and some there...


Another one of my trees fell onto my neighbors roof and into her yard:


















My backyard, geeze, a real mess. The biggest problems are the big limbs that broke, but not completely off and are on my roof. Don't know how we'll get them down.



















The boys have been cutting them and bunching up what they can for the city to pick up. Has to be in bundles of 4x4's. A lot of it I'll have to have someone with a chainsaw deal with. I've called my insurance, but from driving around a little bit of town, we got off easy. We're the worst in our neighborhood, which I didn't know until I stepped outside this morning to see what it looked like in the light of day and there were about half a dozen people in the street looking at my house.

The high school shut down today, sending about six thousand kids home because of the electricity still being off.

I was upset last night that I was going to miss AI because of cable being out...until I realized I could disconnect the tv from the cable and plug it into the wall with a set of rabbit ears that I still happened to have a pair of from many, many years ago. I'd forgotten there was life before cable, lol. The picture was nearly as good as with cable, and I got to watch Jon Bon Jovi (yeeaaaahhh) !!

Wonder if my home insurance will fix my car?




Tuesday, May 01, 2007

This is dedicated to my friend. I love you.

Without You

I wasn't thinking of you when I woke this morning,
but it didn't take long for that to change.
My pillow had dried from the tears I'd cried through the night,
but it didn't take long for that to change either.

Now, I'm making coffee for one.
Now, I'm reaching for someone who isn't there in the morning.
Now, I'm saying "I love you" to someone who isn't there to hear it.

I don't know who I am without you.
I don't know who I am without us.
I don't know who I am.

Friends hold my hand, they wipe my tears
and they tell me with loving hearts that they understand.
But they've never been loved by you.
They've never felt the comfort of laying their head on your chest.
They've never laughed with you into the early morning hours.
They've never had your fingers running through their hair.
No, they've never been loved by you.

Tomorrow will come without you, just as it did with you.
Tomorrow I'll learn a little more of who I am without you.
Tomorrow will be easier...it has to be easier.
Tomorrow I'll learn to live without you.