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MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT

I'm a single mom with two great kids living near Dallas, Texas. This is my life; day to day things that are probably only important to me. This is my record of my ups, my downs and the road that I've taken along the way. For whatever reason YOU'RE here, I hope you find something you can enjoy and/or relate to. God bless.

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I'm Just Me

I've tried several times over the past few days to sit down and post on my blog. Every single time I quit. I just can't get past what I read on Clay_Cane's blog...and on his comment section. I love Clay, I think he's an unbelievably talented author, a thoughtful and considerate human being, and a fair man. So, please, do not assume in any way that I've ever harbored the slightest ill feeling towards Clay. If you do, gotta tell you, you're an idiot, because I completely respect him and all that he is.
Now, when Clay wrote his post on Thanksgiving, I was shocked. I don't know how else to put it. I had no idea, whatsoever, that any of that had occurred. How I didn't know, I've no idea. I don't consider myself ignorant, I've got a pretty decent education, I'm an avid reader and I've always watched and read the news. I asked everyone to read Clay's post and many of you did, and I thank you. I appreciate Clay's writing about this, because I learned something. Something really worth learning. And because I did, my kids (and many others) will learn it too. Clay also recommended a book for me, Lies My Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen, which I bought today at Barnes & Noble. I've only read a bit about it, mostly the credentials of the author, and I'm impressed and looking forward to reading it. Instead of repeating Clay's post (which, believe me, I could not in any way do justice to it), I'll just ask that you read it, if you haven't already. Trust me, it's an awesome and enlightening read about the history of Thanksgiving. (hint: the elementary school play's have it all wrong...oh, and so did The Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving television special)
This brings me to the comment part of Clay's blog. Clay is a gorgeous black man, and many of his readers are black. Though none of them know me personally, my picture accompanies my name...and let's face it, I'm unmistakably white. Somehow, through my life, I've rarely been subjected to anyone holding it against me. I've actually had more white people hold my friendships with black people against me than black people holding my being white against me. This is because of where I come from. I went over some of this on Deb's blog. It isn't something I've ever liked talking about, but it's surfaced and I don't think until I deal with it, I'll be able to blog. Y'all know how I like to blog. :)
I'm from a small town just a few miles northeast of Indianapolis, Indiana. My dad was very racist, as was his dad before him and I'm sure it had been passed on down the line. Now, my grandma was a sweet little (4'8") Christian lady that would get onto my grandpa every time he said something racist. I can still hear her saying, "Now Mac..." Yeah, that's all it took for that little lady to rein him in. Anyway, we were living in the heart of KKK country. We (my sister and I) often wondered if my dad was a member, he denied it. Actually, I can't (and won't) speak for my sister, so I correct that to 'I often wondered'.
It should go without saying that I never knew (and rarely saw) a black person while I was growing up. I do remember one time when we were at a swimming pool at a state park for Memorial Day, and my sister and I were swimming when suddenly we hear my dad screaming our names and saying "get away from those n*ggers". (I refuse to ever say that word, and it was hard enough just to to type it). It took us a few minutes to realize what was going on, but then we noticed a couple of young black kids swimming near us. Apparently we didn't move fast enough and he came around the pool, continuing to yell the same sort of stuff and physically pulled us out of the pool. He screamed at us all the way home. We got the same treatment every time he'd catch us watching any t.v. show's with black people in it. Now, I come from a very abusive (physically, verbally and emotionally) home, but it was from my mom, not my dad. We normally stood up to him, and he'd go for days without talking to us.
When I started high school we had a couple of black people enter our school. One was a girl named Betty Butler (anyone know a woman by that name that went to school at Greenfield Central, give her my addy). She and I became great friends, actually she was one of my closest friends. At home, I was ridiculed and forbidden to bring her into our house.
This is just a small example of how I was brought up. I refused to share the prejudices that surrounded me. I believed that people could be 'color blind'. When I went away to college, I was able for the first time to be friends with whomever I wanted. Still, for the next 10 years after I left home, I faced nearly as many prejudices as I did at home. Thankfully, I see times as having changed.
That is, until little things are said that brings it all back home again. This brings me back to Clay's blog...or actually his comments section. One of his readers made a comment about white people in general. Now, I know that they probably didn't mean it toward any individual, and most definitely not at me in particular. It's just that all the old feelings that I'd thought I'd left behind came back in waves. Trust me, I know that bigotry goes both ways. I was dating a black guy in college that was a star player on the basketball team when 4 black girls got me in an elevator. I'd dated a black guy when I lived in Florida and we both got a lot negative treatment from both races. Another time I was hitching through Georgia and got beat up terribly by a couple of black girls for being in 'the wrong part of town'. Yeah, I hitched all over for a couple of years...a long, long time ago. But I've never blamed an entire race for the actions of a few people.
Which, brings me full circle to Clay's blog. I can't believe all the history of Thanksgiving that I didn't know. The native americans were treated so unbelievably unfairly, as were slaves, blacks, jews...how long could this list go on??? But, and yes there is a 'but', that had nothing to do with me, or you. It does have to do with those that still carry that hatred and bigotry around with them. I just wish that we would learn not to generalize.
SableDawn commented: After torment, there are always two paths: one of vengeance and anger, and one of forward thinking.
Leesa commented: Seems like history is written by the victors. Thanks for another eye-opening viewpoint. This is true, and just one of the reasons why I'm grateful for the kind of forums, like Clay's blog, that enlightens many...such as myself.

A couple of commenters I'll leave anonymous said: I watched this History Channel program about Thanksgiving. It was great. I could just hear the white people groaning and the collective flipping of many channels. You know they hate to relive any of their history of slaughter and sacrifice to its truth.
And I always hated the history books. Why should I listen to his story, the white, abled body, rich, christian man that is.

But my favorite comment was from dugla: I feel enlightened by this and the previous post/comments but I also feel burdened by the way we have seemed to divide, classify and further segregate ourselves into racial, ethnic, religious groups ETC ETC ETC. I will never forget that despite our many, many differences, WE ARE ALL HUMAN Thank you, dugla.

Couple of quotes from the book (by Loewen) that I mentioned earlier that Clay had recommended to me:

The black-white rift stands at the very center of American history. It is the great challenge to which all our deepest aspirations to freedom must rise. If we forget that - if we forget the great stain of slavery that stands at the heart of our country, our history, our experiment - we forget who we are, and we make the great rift deeper and wider. ~ Ken Burns

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, and if faced with courage, need not be lived again. ~ Maya Angelou


Thanks for reading.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Day of Thanks

I wanted to tell y'all about my Thanksgiving, the good and the bad, but after having read Clay Cane's post, Thanksgiving_Horror, I'm not much in the mood. I'm now in the midst of doing more research on this subject.
If you've not read Clay's blog before, I'd encourage you to. But I'd appreciate anyone reading the thanksgiving post, and the comments too, if you have the time, and share your feelings with me.
I'll continue to celebrate Thanksgiving as a day to give thanks for the blessings in my life, though the story that Clay has written about it will now haunt me forever.
Blessings & hugs to all.

Don't Wake Me

I've been meaning to do this for awhile... The kind of guys I find sexy. Yup, read it again...guys I find sexy. I don't really have a type, cause it's not so much the looks as it is attitude, humor, intelligence. Gonna give some examples of guys that fit really well into my fantasies.

Michael Chiklis ~ the guy from The Shield. He's come a long way from The Commish. I'm kidding you not, this guy really makes me wanna wake my hubby up.

Patrick Dempsey ~ the guy from the old 'chick flick' movie, Can't Buy Me Love, but most recently from Grey's Anatomy. Dang, soulful eyes and humor too...

Henry Simmons ~ No words necessary, NYPD Blue.

Jon Bon Jovi ~ How cute is this guy???

These are a few of my favorites...I'll add to the list as they come to mind. :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

What Was I Doing?

I hate that question...I ask it all the time. I'm in the middle of something...think of something else I need to do and I'm off. Then, I'm wondering 'what was I doing?' This is my day today, especially.

Mark should be home in about...4 hours? Yeah, with any luck he'll be running late. In the next 4 hours the boys and I need to pick up the house, all get our showers, get packed for our visit to Lubbock (mom-in-law) and I need to bake TWO chocolate pecan pies. Oh yeah, do any of you have a good recipe?? No, I did actually download one yesterday on-line to buy the ingredients with, so I do have that. So, all I really need is prayer...because as all those who know me, I'm not the family cook here. In fact, I come in just after Charlie, who's behind Casey, who follows our main cook (and well deserved, because the guy is just fantastic in the kitchen) Mark. Just shut up, those of you who are doing the math, yes, that puts me at last. So?? So you see why the prayers and good wishes are needed. Did I mention FOUR hours to get all of this done. Yeah, I've got to get my butt in gear... Okay, so what was I doing??

Tuesday Tests

Bambi Result
Bambi

Which DISNEY character are you most like?


Veggie Pizza
Upscale and trendy.You're the most likely to go for a gourmet pizza.You have impeccable taste in everything.You truly enjoy the finer things in life.
It didn't mention meat or veggies, so I'm kinda impressed that I got veggie since I don't eat meat.



Monday, November 21, 2005

I'm Back

Monday, our first day of Thanksgiving break. Yeah, we get the whole week off. Good thing about working for the school district, I get the same schedule as the kids. I still get up with Marko at 5:30 a.m., but I get to go back to bed! Gotta appreciate them hours. :)

Last week was a pretty decent week, I had theater arts for 3 days with one free period a day. Wednesday, they didn't need me so I got off early. Thursday, a sub that had been filling in for one of the spanish classes I've subbed for before, refused to sub for the 7th period again (difficult class, my favorites) so I took it for her. No problems, I took out 30 ISS forms (In School Suspension) and told them there were no first warnings. The first time they talked I would put their names on an ISS form and on a list for a parent phone call. Quietest class I ever had. So good that I gave them the last 10 minutes as a free time as long as they didn't get loud. I never yell at the kids, just set the rules up front and make sure they understand them. I've been subbing for the last 6 years, so most kids know me and know that I always follow through. Fortunately, didn't have to that class. Friday, I had a teacher storm into my theater arts class accusing a few students of being in the hall slamming his door. The kids told him they hadn't, he got in their faces, they (all boys, shoulder length hair and 6 ft. of attitude) didn't back down. Apparently, someone had been slamming the door to his dark room (yearbook) and someone had told him it had been these boys in my class. The problem with this was, no one had left my class that period. I'd given them an assignment to take a part of any Shakespearean play and use another accent rather than their own, and they could change the words as long as it meant the same thing. It was a lot of fun...anyway. When I started to interrupt this teacher, he 'dismissed' me, saying 'I know it's not your fault, you're just a sub and kids take advantage'. Yeah, uh-huh. I stepped out of the class and went to office, explained what was going on and (helps having friends in the office) they called my room, asked to speak to the teacher in a rage, and told him to come to the office immediately. We passed each other in the hall. I smiled, he didn't. They told me later that they informed him to take issues up with the house office first, never with a student in another class while that class in is session, and to never disrespect a sub again because they're so hard to keep, lol. Friday I just sat in the library and made sure everyone had passes to be in there for my free period. It's good to be me.

Saturday, Mark and Casey went to a football game and Charlie and I went to our (and by that I mean 'my') favorite Italian restaurant, Joe's Italian Bistro. Great, as always. Sunday, we just relaxed around the house after church. A really good day.

Today I've been trying to get a bit ready for Thanksgiving. Visiting my mom-in-law in West Texas. Got friends and neighbors taking care of the dogs, cats and the house. I'm looking forward to getting away.

Tonight, my sweet friend, Nikki, came by before her class and we played with our blogs a little. She always makes me smile and laugh...who wouldn't love someone like that? She taught me somethings I didn't know, and she just started blogging. I'm so slow sometimes....thankfully, though, most people don't hold it against me.

That brings me up to date, sorry I lost touch for a bit... And, NO DEB, I didn't fall asleep again. But Sable can come check if he wants. :)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Lone Wolf

Wolf
What Is Your Animal Personality?

brought to you by Quizilla

Off to work

It's been a fun ride the last 2 days, wonder what's in store today. I don't think I've had as much trouble with students as I've had with some teachers ...some of them are just bullies. You know what? Teenagers react to adult bullies one way...they stand up to them. I know for a fact that you can discipline (and put the fear of God in them) with out bullying.
More later...I'm late, as usual...mostly because I'm watching Green Day's video 'Wake me up when September ends' with Charlie. Yeah...get over it. It's a good video.
Out the door, hugs!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Turn Around

I had no reason to turn around. Friends on each side of me were seeking my attention. But the pull was strong. Shyness aside, I turned around. Funny, because when I turned around, everything in my life turned around.

There you sat, wearing a sweater in a shade of yellow that should have seriously been reconsidered. But it was the way you looked at me that shattered the shell encasing my heart. You looked at me like little girls dream their Prince Charming will one day look at them.

I don't remember saying hello, or if there were introductions. I remember simply inviting you to have coffee, and that you had no hesitation when you accepted.

Later that evening, long after the coffee was gone, long after my friends had left, you told me about your family. I remember how genuinely you spoke of your admiration for them and I remember feeling a twinge of jealousy for your having such a family. Then...a tear escaped your eye and I fell in love with you.

Two weeks later you placed a ring on my finger as you said "I do". You promised that day to love and honor me, and for 21 years you've kept that promise.

There are defining moments in ones life. Mine was turning around.

How about you?

I'm working today, actually I've got the same class for the next 3 days. So, was wondering...what're y'all doing today?

Monday, November 14, 2005

Let It Go

I threw it away, into the deep blue of the ocean. I never wanted to see it again. I never wanted to be reminded of what it had stood for, or what it had meant to me. It had meant nothing to you, it was nothing but an empty gesture. Yes, I knew that at the time you gave it to me, and still I cherished it. It helped me to remember the smiles that had once existed. Existed before the tears began, before the lies were constant...before your heart turned cold.
You wonder if I miss it? You ask if I regret abandoning it in a place that will hide it forever? No, it was a relief to let it go. I remember holding it tightly in my fist. But then, without a whisper of regret, I opened my hand and let it go. It was so much easier than I had expected it to be. Instant freedom filled me. Freedom from questioning, from broken promises, false hopes and shame. Yes, shame, for having kept my eyes closed for so long. "There are none so blind as those who will not see." But I see now, and I see clearly.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

...And He Takes The Bronze



This is my baby, otherwise known as Charlie, otherwise known as the 3rd place, bronze medal winner of the Arlington Invitational JV. How proud am I? I can't begin to tell you, it's amazing! There were eight Dallas metroplex area high schools competing in this invitational, and my baby came in 3rd! How cool is that? His second competition ever. He won three of his four matches.

CONGRATULATIONS CHARLIE

Look Like Who?

I got tagged by a sweet and very cruel blogger, Stacy Deanne. This tag is to list celebrities that you look like, or have been told you look like. I'm very jealous because everyone tagged, including Stacy D, have some great comparisons.

Here are mine:



Lassie, and I'm okay with this. Sweet, intelligent, kind eyes. Yeah, I can deal with Lassie.








Mr. Ed...notice a theme here, yup it's the eyes.









Yeah, I know...the resemblance is uncanny!








I want to dedicate this blog to my friend Katy, cause she helped me pick out my look a likes.
Thanks Katy, always there for me.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Just A Cryin' Shame

I didn't have any fun today, in fact, the day just flat out sucked. I had a pretty bad time at work, I had a REALLY bad time after work, and right now isn't looking too good either.
Things that could make my life better at the moment:
1.) Maverick
2.) Some time alone
3.) Medication (self prescribed)
4.) Katy to listen to me whine (it's too late to call ya, Katy, and chances are you'd find everything funny but that would make me laugh and I'd feel better.)
5.) Chocolate covered popcorn
6.) ...and maybe a hug from someone special.

New Girl On The Blog

One of my favorite people in the world (watched her grow up, and she use to babysit my kids) has just started her own blog. Her name is Nikki and I've got her listed in my favorites. Please take a minute to go say HI and welcome her.
*LOL* No! She's not 'Our Girl'. Y'all are too funny. She does, however know 'Our Girl' and understands my posts regarding 'O.G' completely. NOW, go say "HI". Give her a hug and kiss too, she's a sweetie.

Gotta Work

No time to blog, late for work...again. Blog y'all later. :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

1st Match

A few days ago I wrote a post about Charlie wrestling. Last night was his first real match and he lost. I wanted to say that first so I could get it out of the way and tell you about how great this kid did.
Our first match of the year was against The Colony Cougars. It took Casey and I about an hour to get there with rush hour traffic. Mark met us there, coming straight from work. I was pretty nervous, remembering last week. Charlie had said that some kids wouldn't get to wrestle, depending on the opposing teams wrestlers, whether they had enough of the same size/weight. So, we weren't sure we'd get to see him wrestle. The JV was up first and we watched some of Charlies friends kick butt and some got their butts kicked. Charlie was the third to last wrestler in JV, and when they called up his opponent, I thought there had to be a mistake. The kid was a poster child for steroids. They called out the weight class...'160'. Wait, no way. Charlie is in the 140 weight class. We saw Charlie say something to the people keeping the score and checking them in (two high school girls), they shook their heads, shrugged their shoulders, and Charlie took to the mat.
Mark and I just kind of looked at each other, wondering if we should go get him or not. The parents behind us happened to be the parents of steroid boy, we found out as they started cheering their son on. I asked them, 'did they say 160?' and they said yes. Mark and I just shook our heads.
The boys shook hands and the whistle blew and it was on! I'm no longer a casual observer, I'm a participant. I love this sport. No, not a misprint, I LOVE this sport! The effort these kids put into this is so apparent, and when they don't put much effort in, that's apparent too. Charlie was on this kid like a tiger, not kidding. I've never seen Charlie like this before, it's amazing. Schwarzenegger picks Charlie up and slams him down, no effort. But Charlie is scooting, turning, pushing himself up and on top of this other kid. It's so cool to be sitting so close to be able to see the focus, the determination and the strength in his face. I ask the Incredible Hulks parents how long he's been wrestling and they say 3 years. Wow. I tell them this is Charlies first match and they tell me they can remember what I must be going through. Pride, that's what I'm going through.
They blow the whistle, and Charlie has made it through the first quarter, the first 2 minutes.
Of course, Charlie is confused and thinks it's over. Starts to go shake hands with The Predator's coaches till he hears people telling him it's not over, lol. He gets pinned pretty quickly in the second quarter. God love him. Not bad, not bad at all. His first match and he has to take on some guy who has 20 lbs and 3 years of wrestling on him, and the kid held his own with style, class and real balls. Never been so proud of him.
I want to say that I don't hold anything whatsoever against this kid that Charlie wrestled, I'm just kidding with the names. It's just a mistake that was made, and I'm okay with it. Actually, we told Charlie to consider it good practice. The other kid was just really good (larger and more experienced, lol), but Charlie has nothing to be ashamed of.
By the way, our Allen Eagles won the match 54 ~ 24. I barely have a voice left this morning. Loved every single minute of it!!
Yeah, the ref may have been holding up 'The Teminators' hand, but Charlie was the winner in my eyes.
It's so cool being a parent.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tuesday Tests

Your Hair Should Be White

Classy, stylish, and eloquent.
You've got a way about you that floors everyone you meet.

I hope my friend, Katy, reads this one!!! Finally, one that 'gets' me...well, except for the 'classy, stylish and eloquent' part, LOL.

Tuesday Tests

This is the hardest test!! I did have to guess at *cough* a couple.

Your Observation Skills Get An A-

Hardly anything gets by you...
You have a great memory and eagle eyes

Tuesday Tests

Okay, this test is completely bogus, messed up, broken and out of order.
Btw, I got it from Chrissie


You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Hmmm, Really? Cool!

I got this off of SableDawn's_Spot

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 9
Mind: 9.2
Body: 8.4
Spirit: 10
Friends/Family: 6.7
Love: 10
Finance: 9.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Katy ~ I'm betting the 6.7 comes as no surprise to you, huh? LOL.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

2 points - Bratcher!

Sports. Every moms nightmare. I should probably take that back. After years of sitting in the stands watching Casey and Charlie taking their very lives into their hands on the football field and watching the parents around me...maybe it's just mostly my nightmare. I don't think I've ever seen another mom stand up in the crowd at a football game, yelling "HEY, GET OFF OF HIM!!" when my kid is at the bottom of a pile. No, see...Mark tries to explain to me, it's a good thing when they're at the bottom, meaning they made the tackle. I get that, but all I see are about 20 kids on top of mine, taking their dear sweet time getting up. I mean, c'mon, who knows if he's even still conscious? GET UP!

This year Charlie decided not to play football, he wanted to try wrestling. A bit of a shock. Actually, he didn't want to play any sport, but we have a rule that he has to be involved in a sport, any sport. So, he chose wrestling. The surprising thing is that he loves it. He thinks he's finally found 'his' sport. I'd never seen a wrestling match, but I've shared some classes with his coach, and I know that he is a very disciplined guy and that it would be a good thing for Charlie. I don't know if I've told you enough Charlie stories for you to understand this reasoning, but trust me.

Charlie has come home with a few injuries since wrestling practice started, but I'm use to the guys getting injured (slightly) playing football. Charlie has came home with a bump on the back of his head the size of a large egg, bruises and a sore ankle. Nothing, I repeat, nothing had prepared me for what I saw Friday night at the exhibition match. I honestly had no idea how physically dangerous this sport was. Now, I'm also thinking to myself, this is an exhibition match where they are wrestling their own team mates...how much worse will it be when they're competing in a real match?? Just thinking about it now nearly makes me cry. Seriously.

I took my camera intending to take some pictures and video of Charlies match. When his team (are they called a team?) came out, they looked so cute. They're in these spandex mid thigh shorts and tank top 'tights set'. They run around the entire gym once then take their seats. They called out whom would be matched up against whom and they go shake each others hands. Then the matches begin. I can't believe what they are allowed to do to one another. They can hit each other in the head with an open hand, they can put their arm around the others neck to bring their head back or to hold in place, thus the name 'choke hold'. They can bend their opponents arms behind their back or their legs in another direction... Anything, it seems, to pin their opponent down. The first one up gets a face mashed into the mat, his head gear goes flying and his hand turns in a completely unnatural direction. The second one up has a kid go down so hard with his arm extended that it popped his shoulder out. They had the medics out on the mat for about 10 minutes, you could hear a resounding POP as it goes back in. At this time I tell Mark to go tell Charlie to get his clothes back on, that we're going home. I honestly felt like my heart was going to explode. Mark tries to calm me down, like only Marko can. He laughs at me. Yeah, laughs. What is it with guys? The more chance of pain and injury, the more popular the sport. Charlie is nearly 15, but he is still my baby. Mark tells me that no matter what I do, do NOT leave the bleachers, he can tell I'm getting antsy. I'm taking a few pictures of Charlie in his seat, some videos of the other matches, trying to take my mind off of what's coming up.

Then it's Charlies turn. They put on some color tie thing around their ankles and shake hands. Then the bell rings and Charlie is on this other kids faster than anything I've ever seen. It was amazing! This other kid didn't have a chance, it was wild. Right off the bat, Charlie had 2 points. Why? I don't know, it's all too confusing, but it was so awesome! The match went on for about another 2 hours (okay, 2 minutes) and the other kid somehow flipped and pinned Charlie, match over, Charlie lost. Okay, that sucked. But it was AMAZING!! They get up, they shake hands and return to their seats. I'm hooting and hollering, even if he did lose, he did great! And you know what? I forgot to film it! His first match ever, and I was so nervous I forgot to take any video or pictures! Pooh!

As soon as we had him and we were on our way home, Mark told him about my wanting him to get dressed and go home before he'd even been called up to wrestle. Charlie assured me that it looks worse than it is. Well, the sound of that POP is still much to fresh in my memory for me to believe that. But, if he's found something that inspires him, then I'm backing him 100%.

This is the only picture I took of Charlie (he's in the middle). How sad is that? But there's my baby... 5'11", weighing in at 140 lbs... an Allen Eagle Wrestler!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Back It Up

I'm not easy to embarrass. Actually, I'm pretty much the only one that can embarrass me. Today, so far, has been a long line of embarrassing moments.

First appointment of the day was my yearly mammogram. Could it be any more uncomfortable or embarrassing? It truly is like a 30 minute torture chamber for women with us having to allow some stranger to manipulate our breasts without the benefit of a drink first or anything. While I'm being molded between metal and plastic, the sweet lady technician was telling me about the Christmas Craft Fair at the Catholic Church and the huge baked potatoes they're selling there.

Then they send me next door to have a bone density test. My first. A lot more comfortable than the mammogram, granted, but I didn't like it either. Why do people tell you to hold your breath and not move, then try to carry on a conversation with you? Plus, my nose itched.

Finally, I'm on my way to the craft fair and I had to pee so bad. I get to the church, and the parking lot of this huge church is packed out. I'm jumping up and down in my car (again...I really gotta pee), trying to hold it and looking for a parking space. Finally...I get one! As soon as I get in the church, I'm looking for a bathroom. Wow, huge church! Again...FINALLY, find a bathroom and there is only one person in line.

Okay, women are going to relate to this more, and I'd probably feel more comfortable with the men looking away about now. I get in my stall, I'm hurrying pulling my jeans down around my knees as I back up to the toilet, and as I squat, thinking I'm over the toilet (no seat liner, not sitting) I start peeing. All over the floor. Where is the toilet?? I can't believe it, I missed the dang toilet, who does that?? This stall is apparently a lot deeper than I'd thought. So I start backing up trying to get over the toilet with my jeans pulled down and still squatting, and my shoes go sliding in the mess I've made on the floor. My legs go straight out in front of me as I land (look away, Deb, look away!!!) bare butt on the floor in my own mess. I'm sitting there for a split fraction of a second as I notice shoes in the stalls on each side of me. For whatever reason, I start laughing. My feet are stuck outside the door of the stall, my butt and jeans are sitting in pee, I hear someone ask if I need help...Lord, take me now. Please. I mean, I'm in a church already, c'mon! The only thing that can make it worse is for me to open my mouth and say 'God, I'm so glad I don't go to church here', and yup, that's exactly what I said. Why?? Who knows. Probably cause I'm thinking I won't have to run into people I know. Anyway, I tell them that yes, I am okay, but I've still got to go to the bathroom so to please go on doing whatever they need to do. Translation, PLEASE GO AWAY. I tried to clean myself up pretty good and by the time I left the stall there wasn't anyone around, but there were a lot of people outside the bathroom. I walked out as tall as I could, smiled and asked the nearest person where they were selling the baked potatoes.
By the way, I got it to go.

Sow and Reap

I read something this morning that really encouraged me for the day, the life, I have ahead of me. Here is a part of it:
"But tonight, I had a revelation. I realized that I am strong, precisely because I am helping to hold up others. It is in loving that we gain strength. It is in giving that we receive. It is in being emotionally supportive, that we gain emotional support."
It's part of today's post at SableDawn's_Spot. If you have a moment, please stop by. *If not fully satisfied, all time will be gladly refunded. :) No worries here.

I'll post later today, promise.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tell Me What YOU Think

One of my favorite bloggers, Wes, had another interesting post today (as is the norm for him). I've found myself discussing it with several people, and I'm going to bring it up here for y'all to ponder too. Yeah, ponder...I'm in Texas, get over it. :)
Now, one thing I want to make clear is I am crazy about this guy and think the world of him. Feel free to say whatever you want about the topic, but no personal attacks (on Wes or me, lol).
Here is the post as Wes wrote it:

A Seat. On a Bus. That's All It Is.
Tens of Thousands Mourn Rosa Parks at US Capitol
I understand; she's black, and she didn't give her seat to a white dude. Good for her, really. Any idiot, black or white, who takes a woman's seat on a train, the Metro, or anywhere else is a schmuck. That's just the rule. That's the way it's always been and always will be. But for the people who make this Rosa Parks thing just as important in history as when God created the Earth.... c'mon, it was just a seat on an effin' bus. Here this woman refused to give her seat to whitey and it's like the Second Coming. What about all of the blacks (crap, did I offend someone? should I say "African-Americans"? aw man, did it now.... "negros", oops, did it again.... "people of a darker skin tone".... there we go) who gave their lives and/or suffered for the Civil Rights Movement? Nah, we don't hear about those people. Those stories aren't as happy and stupid-simple as this one. I understand, it was a nice , little historical event.... now let's just wear the hell out of it so people won't forget.
Oh yeah, gotta keep the bus.... WTF?! The 1948 GM Whitey Wagon was restored, "da seat" was marked, and it was put it into a museum. The latest location; Montgomery, AL. Interesting choice.